Ralphie as Adult: [narrating, after Mother breaks the Old Man's Major Award, and he is unsuccessful at repairing it] With as much dignity as he could muster, the Old Man gathered up the sad remains of his shattered major award. Later that night, alon...
Mother: Randy, how do the little piggies go? Randy: [oinks like a pig] Mother: That's right. Oink, oink! Now show me how the piggies eat. [points to his plate] Mother: This is your trough. Show me how the piggies eat. Be a good boy. Show mommy how th...
Mr. Parker: [to Mother] You know, Zudock just bought one of those brand new green, plastic trees. Tree Man: Oh no! Mr. Parker: Darn thing looked like it was made of green pipe cleaners. Hee hee hee hee. Mother: It's a very nice tree. Tree Man: [quick...
Ralphie as Adult: Immediately, my feet began to sweat as those two fluffy little bunnies with a blue button eye stared sappily up at me. Mother: Come down so I can see you better. Ralphie as Adult: I just hope Flick would never spot them as a word of...
Mr. Parker: You filty sicken hook-aid! Oh, smelly wok buster! Grout shell fratten house stickle fifer! You bladder puss nut grafter! Dorton hoper... Ralphie as Adult: What happened next was a family controversy for years. Mr. Parker: You wart mundane...
Kermit the Frog: If you please Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder, and the bookkeeping staff would like an extra shovel full of coal for the fire? Rat #1: We can't do the bookkeeping, all our pens have turned to inkcicles! Rat #2: Our assets are frozen!...
I save every Christmas card. I keep them all.
'A Christmas Story' has always meant a lot to me personally.
My favorite albums are really short.
Albums take a lot out of you.
I've appeared on some other people's albums.
I definitely have favourites in terms of albums.
I've always wanted to make a bluegrass album.
Mutineer is the first album of mine without a demo stage.
Christmas is a season of exceedingly great joy.
Pies mean Thanksgiving and Christmas and picnics.
At Christmas, all roads lead home.
My father used to always give me a basketball, a skate board, and a bike every Christmas. That's all I wanted every year.
I wanted an electric train for Christmas but I got the saxophone instead.
I really like the European carols, and I like that captivating sound that they have that isn't usually in Christmas songs.
Christmas makes everything twice as sad.
