Christmas can be celebrated in the school room with pine trees, tinsel and reindeers, but there must be no mention of the man whose birthday is being celebrated. One wonders how a teacher would answer if a student asked why it was called Christmas.
One Christmas I had no money, and so I went home and just, like, wrote a poem; I mean, I didn't write them, but I just handed out poems as Christmas presents. Like, 'Here's a Pablo Neruda poem that really made me think of you.'
I think that 'Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance' was mentally taxing, if only because I had to go to a Christmas party shortly after I had wrapped photography in Romania at two in the morning as the Ghost Rider. The invitation had a Christmas ornament...
Ralphie: I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle! Mrs. Parker: No, you'll shoot your eye out.
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] The old man stood there, quivering with fury, stammering as he tried to come up with a real crusher. All he got out was... The Old Man: Naddafinga!
Mr. Parker: What is the name of the Lone Ranger's nephew's horse? Mother: Ah... Victor! His name is Victor. Mr. Parker: How the hell did you know that? Mother: Everybody knows that!
Mother: Randy? What's wrong? Whatcha cryin' for? Randy: Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie! Mother: No he's not... Randy: Yes he is! Mother: No, I promise, Daddy is not going to kill Ralphie!
Boy in School: [Firemen come to pull Flick off pole] Holy cow, it's the fire department! Ralphie: Oh no... Boy in School: [policemen come] Wow, it's the cops!
Ralphie: [Giving his teacher a fruit basket instead of just an apple] I thought you might like something different. Ralphie as Adult: Yes, clearly, a little bribe never hurts.
Mom: [Playing Santa] And this is for daddy... [Picks up a gift-wrapped bowling ball and drops it in The Old Man's Lap] Mom: Here, from me to you. The Old Man: [high-pitched] Thanks a lot!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] There has never been a kid who didn't believe vaguely but incessantly that he would be stricken blind before he reached 21, and then they'd be sorry.
Ralphie as Adult: C+? Oh no, it CAN'T be! Ralphie: C+? Miss Shields: [in Ralphie's fantasy, dressed as the Wicked Witch] C+! C+! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Clark: [Finally revealing his Christmas Bonus] It's a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club. Eddie: [Overwhelmed, almost choking on his eggnog] Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving throughout the entire year.
Eddie: [walks in with a bound and gagged Mr. Shirley tied with a big red ribbon] Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas, Clark. [to Mr. Shirley] Eddie: You about ready to do some kissing?
[Uncle Lewis lights his cigar accidentally burns the Christmas tree] Clark: Lewis? My tree! Uncle Lewis: So what's the matter with you? Clark: Look what you've done to my tree!
[first lines] Azim: He says "Christmas." So I say to him, [in Turkish] Azim: "Should we go shopping?" [English] Azim: The kid's 16. He says, "But uncle, it's Christmas."
Tom: Look, it's all completely chicken soup. Nick the Greek: It's what? Tom: It's kosher. As Christmas. Nick the Greek: The Jews don't celebrate Christmas, Tom.
Rizzo the Rat: [a nearby clock strikes the hour] Oh, what was that? Gonzo: Two o'clock. Rizzo the Rat: Is it too early for breakfast? Gonzo: Yes. Rizzo the Rat: Oh good, suppertime!
Rizzo the Rat: [falls down a chimney ignoring Gonzo] Hey! I'm stuck! Get me out of here! Gonzo: I knew you weren't suited for literature.
Robert Marley: Look, it's Ebeneezer Scrooge! Jacob Marley: Looking older and more wicked than ever. Robert Marley: I knew he wouldn't disappoint us!
I really consider myself fortunate to have been of age during the musical revolution that came in the form of the Beatles. People don't realize that previous to the Beatles, there really was no such thing as an album artist. People made singles. Then...
