Quotes of: Chill-out Keyword

The Italians say “Chow.” To them it means “Bye,” but to me it means food. Of the greetings, goodbye is the desert.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

When I turned 30, I was done with Thousand Island dressing. I have moved on to Island Number 1001.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

If anger were money, only a fool would greedily save it up. And a wise man would let it slip out of his heart like change slips out of his pants pockets.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My book is a light read. Seriously, it probably weighs 3.33 ounces. That’s pretty impressive, considering it’s an ebook.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

I like instant gratification. It’s like instant coffee, only it won’t keep you up all night.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

Kevin Love has a last name that sums up my feelings for you. But then again, so does Renaldo Letsfucktonight.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

To forgive is Godly. To begrudge is manly. I don’t even have any chest hair, so you know where I stand.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

Somewhere, on some sidewalk, is a piece of gum with my shoe’s imprint patterned on it. You must find it and bring it to justice.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

Not only did I lie about lying, but I lied about lying about lying. And you’d better believe that’s the truth.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

Can you tell by where my eyes are looking what I’m thinking? Hint: I’m staring directly at your vagina.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

If I typed out positive words, printed them out, blended them together with fruit and ice, and spoke all those words into my drink before chugging, would I absorb those positive attributes faster?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I have pride in my name, because I have pride in myself. I do not represent my name—my name represents me.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

I have bread, water, and love—what more can a man ask for? How about pasta, wine, and sex.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

I speak Spanish like I chew spinach—like it’s dried bubble gum stuck underneath a park bench.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

When graves are covered with stones, the dead can no longer get out. But the dead can’t go out anyway! What difference does it make whether they’re covered with soil or stones?

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Perhaps some day I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow.

The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

Out there was a man who had murdered his daughter. And another who had stepped on her heart. His hatred should be aimed at the one who killed her, but all he could picture was Yoshino being literally kicked out of that car.

Villain

I had a dream about you making balloon animals for kids. You were out of balloons and the kids were out of patience, so you inflated their imaginations instead.

We Had A #Dream About You

I believe we best say yes to God's glory and sovereignty by saying no to Calvinism.

Young, Restless, No Longer Reformed: Black Holes, Love, and a Journey in and Out of Calvinism

I fought the mighty urge to watch her put it on. My libido had just burst out of the closet and was tripping over furniture yelling, "Who? What? Where?" (Please excuse him. He doesn't get out much)

Zero Sight