Quotes of: Chill-out Keyword

Figure out what makes you laugh, and do more of it. Figure out what makes you cry, and do less of it.

The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.

Sh*t My Dad Says

Check it out. She's scandalously popular, insanely beautiful, and obviously in the middle of some emotional shoot-out to consent to date the human Tator Tot.

Some Kind of Wonderful

I need to figure out the secret. I need to work out how to keep things flying back to me instead of always flying away.

Tell the Wolves I'm Home

But he won’t let the pain blot out the humor no more’n he’ll let the humor blot out the pain.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

The thing is to sift out the important sounds, little syllables and vowels that bring hints of their lost words, and not to mistake the fossil for the life, or the kiss for the love, not to mistake the fragment for the sentence.

Out of Place

He had pulled out of that grief, eventually – out from under the suffocating weight of it. Suffering had formed him: made him silent and deliberate, thoughtful: deep.

The Orchardist

Children. For all of the times that you miss out on things you'd like to do because of them, there are an equal number of excuses they offer to get out of things you'd like to miss.

The Provence Cure for the Brokenhearted

Walking out in the middle of a funeral would be, of course, bad form. So attempting to walk out on one's own was beyond the pale.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls

What to do with life? Get out of bed, Derek. That’s what you do. You get out of bed, and you get yourself a cup of fucking coffee. That’s all you can do.

Paper Souls

I remind you that there are churches so completely out of the hands of God that if the Holy Spirit withdrew from them, they wouldn't find it out for many months

Tozer Pulpit

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches

I’m older than myself. At least I will be, once my clone gets here.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars. 

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

I found out who my real dad is on Facebook. I also found out who he isn’t. He isn’t the man I thought he isn’t.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I want to design sleeveless jackets for armless men. I'm still trying to work out how they would zip it up though.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The best part about a rear naked choke, is the naked part.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

There’s moisture in my madness. I should start keeping my insanity in Tupperware containers.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

Science doesn’t listen. Science has mice growing out of its ears. Wait, I mean human ears growing out of its mice.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I don’t know where, but I know how and why. Two out of three out of six ain’t bad.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

18 is like two snoozes back to back, or the birthday of two clones, blindfolded, standing back to back.

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.