Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make some copies? The result was that once again nearly all (93 percent) agreed, even though no real reason, no new information, was added to justify their compliance. Just a...
So...have you ever thought about dyeing your hair punk-rocker-chick black? As I'm sure you've heard, I have a thing for brunettes and always avoid blondes." "I've heard. And no." "Too bad. Because you're making me rethink my stance about doing my fri...
I don't care how happily married you are or how deeply enmeshed you are with your children and family and career -- every woman needs a couple of chicks who'll break out the sangria just because you need to vent.
The staircase that was revealed was lit with a soft red glow. I feel like I'm walking down into a porn movie," V muttered as they took the steps with care. Wouldn't that require more black candles for you," Zsadist cracked. At the bottom of the landi...
If you fell outward to the limit of the universe, would you find a board fence and signs reading DEAD END? No. You might find something hard and rounded, as the chick must see the egg from the inside. And if you should peck through that shell (or fin...
What I’ve come to realize I that I don’t like action for action’s sake. Mindless explosions, super close ups of combat and gore, and unnecessary effects make me zone out incredibly fast. What I do love is a fight that is well choreographed and ...
Jack: Speak for yourself. I get chicks lookin' at me all the time. All ages. Dudes too. Miles Raymond: Well, it's not worth it. You pay too big a price. It's never free. Jack: You need to get laid, Miles. You know what? That's going to be my best man...
I love books, by the way, way more than movies. Movies tell you what to think. A good book lets you choose a few thoughts for yourself. Movies show you the pink house. A good book tells you there's a pink house and lets you paint some of the finishin...
New Rule: You're never going to pick up women at a coffee shop pretending to be working on your laptop. You don't look like you're sensitive, you look like you're homeless.The last guy to pick up a chick with an Apple was Adam. And when you sit acros...
But this was suddenly interrupted, William Bankes remembered (and this must refer to some actual incident), by a hen, straddling her wings out in protection of a covey of little chicks, upon which Ramsay, stopping, pointed his stick and said "Pretty�...
It looks like fallen petals, and it looks like rain. It looks like the sounds the birds make at dawn. It looks like the aisle of grocery stores when a song I love suddenly begins to play overhead, and I cannot help but dance a little dance. It looks ...
Jen leaned around Sally and glared at her two best friends. "What are you two betting on?" "Good grief. What, does she have eagle ears or something?" "No you dork. Your whisper is just you talking in normal volume but making your voice raspy. Really,...
I think they'd barely recognize us as brothers and sisters. If we told them, church is on Sundays, and we have an awesome band...if the found out 1/6th of the earth's population claimed to be Christians, I'm not sure they could reconcile the sufferin...
Dante Hicks: Have you become so embittered that you now feel the need to attack the handicapped? Randal Graves: What handicap? They guy's just in a wheelchair, it's not like he's Anne Frank or something. Dante Hicks: Anne Frank? Randal Graves: Yeah, ...
Narrator: Bob loved me because he thought my testicles were removed too. Being there, pressed against his tits, ready to cry. This was my vacation... and she ruined *everything*. Marla Singer: This is cancer, right? Narrator: This chick Marla Singer ...
Jeff Bebe: Some people have a hard time explaining rock 'n' roll. I don't think anyone can really explain rock 'n' roll. Maybe Pete Townshend, but that's okay. Rock 'n' roll is a lifestyle and a way of thinking... and it's not about money and popular...
This is very simple in the world of chicks: some are hoochies, some are not, and some should never try to be. It's no different from the idea of sports. Now, I can go on my little rowing machine for four times a week, twenty-two minutes a time, and I...
It always pisses me off when I’m calling in to some Morning Zoo radio show to promote God-only-knows what—probably this book, so get ready, I’m comin’—when the DJ actually tries to convince me that there are as many female comics as male on...
Lance: [answering the phone] Hello. Vincent: Lance! It's Vincent. I'm in big fuckin' trouble, man. I'm coming to your house. Lance: Whoa. Whoa. Hold your horses, man. What's the problem? Vincent: I've got this chick, she fuckin' O.D.in' on me! Lance:...
Donkey: Shrek! Hold up, Shrek! You got to wait for the line! Shrek: [about to burst into the cathedral] What are you talking about? Donkey: The line, the line you gotta wait for: the priest's gonna say "Speak now or forever hold your piece", and you ...
Toby Radloff: I'm not going to be eating dinner until very late and this has got to hold me over. Harvey Pekar: Yeah? Whaddya got? A church function? Toby Radloff: No. I'm driving to Toledo to see a movie. Wouldya like to come? Harvey Pekar: No. Nah....
