The great joy of doing 'The Daily Show' for me is that I get to sit on the fence between cultures. I am commenting on the absurdity of both sides as an outsider and insider. Sometimes I'm playing the brown guy, and sometimes I'm not, but the best stu...
My personal life is the same. At the end of the day, this is just a job. I love what I do, and it's a great job. But it's like my alter ego. There's Chris Brown the singer. And there's Christopher Brown, the down-home Tappahannock boy that plays vide...
One of the least arduous but most productive of gardening jobs, the magic of deadheading never fails to delight me. It was a revelation when the principle was explained to me: that flowers are the attempt by the plant to reproduce itself. So if you c...
I could happily lean on a gate all the livelong day, chatting to passers-by about the wind and the rain. I do a lot of gate-leaning while I am supposed to be gardening; instead of hoeing, I lean on the gate, stare at the vegetable beds and ponder.
'Survivor' wouldn't have happened had I not gone out there and helped CBS to sell sponsors to finance the first one. Part of my thinking on 'Survivor' was that it should have rewards that are corporate brands. A Big Mac, one thimble-full of Coca-Cola...
[after Cosmo gives a good idea] R.F. Simpson: Cosmo, remind me to give you a raise. [turns around] Cosmo Brown: Oh, R.F. R.F. Simpson: Yes? Cosmo Brown: Give me a raise.
[1955 Doc is watching a video of 1985 Doc] Dr. Emmett Brown: What on Earth is this thing I'm wearing? Marty McFly: Ah, this, this is a radiation suit. Dr. Emmett Brown: Radiation suit? Of course. 'Cause of all the fallout from the atomic wars.
Dr. Emmett Brown: Oh, my God. They found me. I don't know how, but they found me. Run for it, Marty! Marty McFly: Who? Who? Dr. Emmett Brown: Who do you think? THE LIBYANS! Marty McFly: HOLY SHIT!
Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.
Don't overestimate everyone else and underestimate yourself
Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.
[after Ray spills a box of toothpicks on the floor] Raymond: 82, 82, 82. Charlie: 82 what? Raymond: Toothpicks. Charlie: There's a lot more than 82 toothpicks, Ray. Raymond: 246 total. Charlie: How many? Sally Dibbs: 250. Charlie: Pretty close. Sally...
[Charlie is pulling Raymond's books off the shelves, leaving Raymond nervous] Charlie: You read The Twelth Night? Raymond: I don't know. V-E-R-N. Charlie: You read Macbeth? Raymond: Yes. Charlie: So you read all these stories and you don't know if yo...
Lt. General Frederick "Boy" Browning: Hello, Roy. How are you? Maj. General Roy Urqhart: I'm not sure I'll know for a while. But I'm sorry about how it turned out. Lt. General Frederick "Boy" Browning: You did all you could. Maj. General Roy Urqhart:...
Marshal Weathers: Can I help you? Charlie Prince: I think maybe a coach headed for here got itself held up in the canyon about ten miles back... Butterfield: God damn it. Charlie Prince: ...by Mr. Ben Wade himself. Marshal Weathers: How did you know ...
Big Brown Moose I'm a big brown moose, I'm a rascally moose, I'm a moose with a tough, shaggy hide; and I kick and I prance in a long-legged dance with my moose-mama close by my side. I shrug off the cold and I sneeze at the wind and I swivel my ears...
Charlie: You've got a date, Ray, you're gonna go dancing. Raymond: Yeah. Charlie: You know how to dance, Ray? Raymond: No. Charlie: I'll have to teach you sometime. Raymond: Definitely have to dance on my date. Have to learn how to dance. Definitely....
All I do is party.
In God's family, there are no outsiders, no enemies.
A suit is a sign of respect.
Toothpick Charlie: Look, chief, I better blow 'cause if Columbo sees me, it's gonna be "Goodbye Charlie!" Mulligan: Goodbye, Charlie.
