Quotes of: Chairs Keyword

I was born a baby, and it took me a long time to be man enough to acknowledge that that was a mistake.

So many chairs, and no time to sit

I have a whisper like a zipper. Your secret is safe in my pants.

So many chairs, and no time to sit

With anything, it either is, or it isn’t. There is no isisn’t. Except for zombies—who are both dead and not dead at the same time.

So many chairs, and no time to sit

Sorrow is the violent smashing of reason, in that reason has no power over it.

Tolstoy and the Purple Chair: My Year of Magical Reading

Musical Chairs. Except I thought, when God's providing the music, everyone gets a chair.

Who Is My Shelter?

Satan will not ask you to carry a chair and sit with him, instead he will snatch the chair from your hands and dismantle your body with it.

Michael Bassey Johnson

I worked on 'USA Today' as a topic for while. I tried to do something on hand chairs, chairs that look like hands. I really tried. But some topics are not truly universal.

Jim Gaffigan

One who sits between two chairs may easily fall down.

Romanian

If you see a frog squatting on his house, don't ask him for a chair.

Togolese

I stitched an itch to my side. As far as surgeries go, I’m just barely scratching the surface.

So many chairs, and no time to sit

Around here there’s not much to do, I’m afraid. Actually, I’m lying. That’s not one of my fears.

So many chairs, and no time to sit

For your birthday I got you some batteries. They’re dead, just like you’ll soon be.

So many chairs, and no time to sit

Can the government grow the economy like a farmer grows an erection, or a male porn star grows a tree?

So many chairs, and no time to sit

I’ll give you the mother-in-law discount—200% of the 50% off sales price.

So many chairs, and no time to sit

Though my stomach is only the size of a pea, I could eat two politicians’ brains.

So many chairs, and no time to sit

A real patriot doesn’t unconditionally stick up for his government—he stands up for freedom.

So many chairs, and no time to sit

I got you a birthday present. The box is the exact same size as a coffin.

So many chairs, and no time to sit

I place a higher value on human life than on no human life. But only barely. 

So many chairs, and no time to sit

Ignoring plus ignorance equals ignoringance—knowing a problem exists, but doing nothing to fix it.

So many chairs, and no time to sit

Pregnant women need dick too. And I’m here to sell it to them. I charge by the inch and by the hour. 

So many chairs, and no time to sit

I get sex. I completely get sex—even though I don’t get sex. I understand it, but I never have it. 

So many chairs, and no time to sit