Don’t be selfish and keep your thoughts locked in the cage called your skull. Free your mind, release your thoughts into the world, and free yourself in the process.
Obese people have really begun to eat up a lot of my free time. That’s the skinny on my life.
If I were stranded on a desert island, and could have only one person and three things with me, I’d want Nietzsche, a pen, paper, and a stick-on mustache.
Don’t tell me to write your story. Write your own story. If you won’t write it down, it probably isn’t worth writing down—or reading.
They are just 100 per cent bear, whereas human beings feel we're not 100 per cent human, that we're always letting ourselves down. We're constantly striving towards something, to some fulfilment.
There will always be a slight difference between the reel and the real. Even my family might know 99 per cent about me, but there will be this one per cent about me that nobody will ever know. Being in this profession, I am fine with biopics or movie...
Although more than 500 million maritime containers move around the world each year, accounting for 90 per cent of international trade, only 2 per cent are inspected. Strengthening customs and immigration systems is essential.
I was talking to Coach Wooden after I had signed at UCLA and over the summer, and we used to talk all the time. The thing is, talking to Bill Walton, once you throw in your two cents, he throws in the other 98 cents. He will not stop talking, I'll te...
I park my car in the parking spot right next to the parking spot my bed is in, just in case I have to pee quickly (at above 65 miles per hour).
Awards represent achievement, and to an extent they show more about who you are as a person than the personal items you picked out and purchased, because they show desire, ambition, goals, and accomplishment.
Even though I buried our love in a coffin, it isn’t dead. No, our love is very much alive. Or at least it was yesterday, when I went to visit the cemetery.
Trying to put a baby back in the womb is like trying to convert a butterfly into a caterpillar, but still I’ve got to try. That’s what being in love is all about.
Being in the womb was like taking a nine-month bath. I wanted to take a shower, but no matter how hard I kicked, or how loud I screamed, my mom wouldn’t listen.
It’s hard to believe an eight-foot tall man can come out of a tight vagina. Obviously, mothers of really tall men must have been loose whores.
I suggested to her that she start writing. "I can't write at all," she said. "Neither can many bestsellers," I replied. "But that pesky detail didn't stop them.
A writer must be a lifelong reader to be good. And if you want to be a great writer, I’d suggest trying to live a long life by reading the ingredients of the foods you buy.
It’s not you, it’s me.” This line could signify rejection, or it could be something I say in the future, when I’m talking to one of my clones about another one of my clones.
I planted a tree. You’d think my neighbors would be happy for the shade it would provide them, but no, they said I planted it too close to their house. Since when is six inches too close?
When tragedy hits close to home, like your neighbor’s house, it really makes you stop and think. And while you’re thinking, I’ll be speeding off in the getaway car.
I didn’t do a 180-degree turn on my thinking. I simply swiveled my chair around so I could dismiss the idea from the other side.
People call me “Mustache,” because I have an eyebrow on my upper lip. When I close my lips it’s like a wink and a kiss combined. It’s like lust overload.
