I was so offended I wanted to light his face on fire. But I restrained myself, because he was wearing my cat on his head.
Just got done giving my cat a haircut and eating dinner. The two events are unrelated, though I might cough up a hairball later on.
I had to put away my toy so it didn’t get lost. After all, cats can’t read maps or ask for directions, and they don’t possess GPS.
My name is Two Dogs Wink While Chewing. It’s not an Indian name, nor one that reflects my cat-loving nature.
I hated lying to my family. I had no choice. As a werewolf, the pack’d go apeshit if they found out I’d spent the last few months shagging a cat. ~Kyle Larsen
Life is a cat asleep on the window sill suddenly waking as it falls from the third floor.
There are only a few things that are more entertaining than watching a cat trying to run across a freshly waxed wood floor after a ball.
Never believe a rumor of my death,' said Peter. 'I have as many lives as a cat. Also as many teeth, as many claws, and the same cheery, cooperative disposition.
I smell like cat snuggles and sex, though from two different activities. I have just perfected my meatloaf-flavored ice cream, if you want to grab a spork.
I’ll stand by you. And by stand I mean cower in your shadow. It’s probably cold there, so I’m going to knit myself a warm cat sweater to wear.
I have no brothers or sisters, so I get all my sibling love. But since I can't take what's already mine, I end up giving it all to my cat.
The cat hair floated in the air like a sound vibration, and I plucked it like a guitar string. Sometimes I can be so musical I’m like a living love song.
My writing, it’s all I have. Well, aside from my health. And shelter, food, and clothing. Oh, and my cat.
There’s cat feces in my Batman costume, and all the lines in my screenplay were snorted by the neighborhood cokehead. Ah, but that’s life, no?
Honestly I don't know why i have these parties" "Because of your cat" "That's true. Chairman Meow deserves my every effort
I have a few customers who have two or three hundred bags. When you see a lady carrying a little dog bag or a little cat bag or an egg, it makes you happy.
I feel alive, fit and active. I have no plans for retirement. My only concession to getting a little older is that I like to have a cat-nap in the afternoon. After that, I can push on through anything.
The Cat: When the wine drinks itself, when the skull speaks, when the clock strikes the right time, only then will you find the tunnel that leads to the Red Bull. There be a trick to it, of course.
Some people are uncomfortable with the idea that humans belong to the same class of animals as cats and cows and raccoons. They're like the people who become successful and then don't want to be reminded of the old neighborhood.
No one has ever been able to discover how they make this subtle sound, and what is more, no one ever will. It is a secret that has endured from the very beginning of the time of cats and will never be revealed.
When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they're just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.
