Quotes of: Cat Keyword

my cat is always looking at me like i am forgetting something crucial and he depends on it

Selected Unpublished Blog Posts of a Mexican Panda Express Employee

A great deal of thought must be given to your daughter's marriage. Otherwise, she will simply slink off like a cat on a dark night to be fertilized under a bush to God knows whom!

The Singapore Grip

[The cats] scamper in front of my legs, causing me to fall and face plant into whatever furniture is closest. They especially like to play this game when I’m carrying piping hot coffee.

Musings on Minutiae

Words should wander and meander. They should fly like owls and flicker like bats and slip like cats. They should murmur and scream and dance and sing.

My Name is Mina

I peel cats like I pet oranges. And I often snuggle with watermelons, sometimes with the intent of making love.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

His eyes, green with yellow sparks, and with elongated pupils like a cat’s, made his grandmother gasp and say: ‘Jesus! He has the devil’s eyes!

The Man Who Never Was

The chair walked in the room like any four-legged creature would, and I sat on it like a cat.

The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit You

I’d lick the water out of your bathtub, just to prove I love you—and that I’m not a cat.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

We can't find the cat, We don't know where she's at, Oh, where did she go? Does anyone know? Let's ask this walking hat.

A Light in the Attic

Love is like walking while riding a bicycle. It’s pretty hard to do when you’re curled up like a cat, sleeping in a wheelchair.

Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

A cat’s meow can be a scream, a laugh, a sigh, a hello, a yes, and even an I love you.


Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

Sparrows and cats will live in my shoe, Sooner than I will live with you. Fish will come walking out of the sea, Sooner than you will come back to me.

The Last Unicorn

I wish wearing flat-irons on our heads would keep us from growing up. But buds will be roses, and kittens, cats, - more's the pity!

Little Women

I thought orange was a more electable color, so I dyed my whole cat orange, and renamed him Abe Lincoln. I licked his fur clean in celebration of his victory.

Sleepwalking is restercise

If I knew everything, life would be lonely, as everyone else would want to explore the world, and I’d be content with a cat on my lap sitting in the dark. 


Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

A counterfeit is a knock off. A cat’s tail swiping a knickknack placed perilously close to the edge of a shelf is also a knock off. How do you think my heart got broken?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

There was fried chicken in the litter box, so I helped myself and took a shit. I am a cat lover and a fan of KFC. I always take mine to go.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Maybe I could hear better if my ears weren’t flipped inside out. Unlike a cat’s ears, you can’t tell mine are flipped over. But they must be, because I only seem to listen to myself.


This Book is Not FOR SALE

Love reminds me of when I was six and had a pet goldfish named “Silverbird” that I carried around the house, petting it like a cat. Needless to say it died. So I ate it.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I wear my love like a sweater made out of kitten licks. Weezer wrote about my love with their song, “The Sweater Song.” Cats find that song very cleansing.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If green carpet grew on trees instead of leaves, I’d pick off a few cats—with my rifle.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks