We were afraid of so many things: Of our children, who lived in their own world of casually lurid pleasures, zombies and cartoon killers and thuggish music. Of our neighbors, who were buying gold and ammunition and great quantities of freeze-dried fo...
To be born means being compelled to choose an era, a place, a life. To exist here, now, means to lost the possibility of being countless other potential selves.. Yet once being born there is no turning back. And I think that's exactly why the fantasy...
Frozen yogurt is tastier than ice cream, nobody is too old for cartoons, bald men are sexy, chocolate is the best medicine, BIG books are better, cats secretly rule the planet, and everything should be available in the color pink, including monster t...
I was from such a large family that when I first met my wife, I told her: 'You can go work outside of the house and I'll stay home and continue making my cartoon strips. Maybe I'll make some commercials nearby, you know I'll do anything locally, but ...
R.K. Maroon: What are you going to do to me, Valiant? Eddie Valiant: I'm going to listen to you spin the Cloverleaf scenario. The story of greed, sex and murder. And the parts that I don't like, I'm going to edit out. R.K. Maroon: You got it all wron...
Nixon is fascinating because he's our most alienated president. Everybody felt that they never knew who he was - that's palpable in the histories. His face is so cartoony that he's become this cartoon figure. I never really related to the romanticiza...
Tana would sit near the door to the basement with fingers in her ears, tears and snot running down her face as she cried and cried and cried. And little Pearl would toddle up, crying, too. They cried while they ate their cereal, cried while they watc...
Time seemed to drag with dreamlike slowness, like a knife through cold honey, and the room took on a surreal golden sheen as if I was looking through that same jar of honey. Maybe at that moment, the sun shone just right though the grimy windows, but...
I let out a laugh that sounded more like the yip of a startled poodle. "Superp-powers? I wish. My powers aren't winning me a slot on the Cartoon Network anytime soon... except as a comic relief. Ghost Whisperer Junior. Or Ghost Screamer, more like it...
As his gaze rose to her face - he bit back a gasp. "Your hair, it's - " "Red." ... "You look stunning." ... "Did I ever tell you that when I was growing up, my favorite cartoon characters was Jessica Rabbit?" ... "You always had the curves, but now, ...
Remember: It costs nothing to encourage an artist, and the potential benefits are staggering. A pat on the back to an artist now could one day result in your favorite film, or the cartoon you love to get stoned watching, or the song that saves your l...
Betty Boop: Cigars? Cigarettes?... Eddie Valiant! Eddie Valiant: [turns around] Betty! Betty Boop: Long time, no see! Eddie Valiant: What are you doing here? Betty Boop: Work's been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. But I still got it, Eddie! ...
[Alvy fantasizes being in love with the Wicked Queen from Snow White] Wicked Queen: We never have any fun any more. Alvy Singer: How can you say that? Wicked Queen: Why not? You're always leaning on me to improve myself. Alvy Singer: You're just upse...
We are sorry about the way things turned out. We gave, in the phrasing of our words if not literally in the words themselves, the false impression that these pages might hold some small fragment, some slight fragrance of a greater truth. That there m...
Walt Disney: Please sit down. P.L. Travers: I shall not sit in the seat of a trickster! A fraudster! A sneak! Walt Disney: Mrs. Travers, what in the world has upset you so? P.L. Travers: Penguins have very much upset me! Animated, dancing penguins! N...
Thomas Wollaston, in the Annals and Magazine of Natural History, complained that Darwin did no seem to know what a species actually was. The British Quarterly, deliberately sitting up trouble, speculated that a time might come when a monkey could pro...
The llama was wearing a bridle with a rope attached where you might expect to find reins. A greeting card was hanging from his neck: 'Hola Como se llama? Yo me llamo C. Llama.' During his preschool years, Clay's favorite cartoon had featured a Spanis...
When I say "The good man gave his good dog a good meal," I use "good" analogically, for there is at the same time a similarity and a difference between a good man, a good dog, and a good meal. All three are desirable, but a good man is wise and moral...
Partially undermining the manufacturer's ability to assert that its work constituted a meaningful contribution to mankind was the frivolous way in which it went about marketing its products. Grief was the only rational response to the news that an em...
The United States is the wealthiest nation in the history of the world, yet its inhabitants are strikingly unhappy. Accordingly, we present to the rest of mankind, on a planet rife with suffering and tragedy, the spectacle of a clown civilization. Su...
Randal Graves: I thought you weren't even allowed to watch a lot of TV in your house cause you're all Christian and shit. Elias: Well, as it turns out, cars and trucks that turn into robots aren't really that blasphemous. Because my pastor says that ...
