Comedy covers such a wide range of different styles that I'm not really qualified to talk on all of them any more than anyone else is.
As you get older you're told to be sensible, but it's important for writing if you're a comic that you're able to still access that childlike thing.
I'm terribly shallow. I don't miss things once I have stopped doing them, and I don't miss people when I stop seeing them.
'Senior Citizen' and 'Silver Surfer' are the new euphemisms. Unless you're a female presenter on TV, in which case you're ready for the knacker's yard at 35.
All reality TV shows are a triumph of voyeurism. They choose contestants who are ill-suited and slightly freakish.
I try to swim for 30 minutes and walk for 30 minutes, because if I don't, my finely honed body will slip into its old ways.
I judge when I need a top-up of Botox by looking in the mirror to see if I can move more than half my forehead.
I went on Accutane, which is very strong. Your sebaceous glands dry up, you can't exercise, and you have very dry lips. But it was a miracle, and it worked.
If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It's only when you act as if you're someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony.
Our common language is English. And our common task is to ensure that our non-English-speaking children learn this common language.
For children to take morality seriously they must be in the presence of adults who take morality seriously. And with their own eyes they must see adults take morality seriously.
Give yourself an even greater challenge than the one you are trying to master and you will develop the powers necessary to overcome the original difficulty.
A clown I knew who was retiring from Ringling Brothers gave me his giant shoes, and somebody else made me a clown suit.
You don't really have to say much when your headline is 'Drag Queen Robs Burger King.' Sometimes comedy writes itself.
High on the list of things I've been meaning to do since I moved to New York in 2004 is going up to a Columbia University football game.
I taught myself to tune in to another person's wavelength, figure out what they were looking for, and try to project that thing back at them.
Some people said my acting was a cross between Euell Gibbons, Rodney Allen Rippy and Sheena, Queen of the Jungle.
I am just a little tired of the Stones and the Beatles, and I don't care if I ever hear 'Louie Louie' ever again.
So after being with somebody for any number of days like that, you can't help but feel for them. You can't help them, but you certainly can root for them.
I still have in me the same awareness when I was 12 and chubby and a girl was spitting in my face. I'm the same person.
You take the quote from Sam Jackson about how he'll never work with a rapper, and I can understand where he's coming from because he says rappers can't act.
