Quotes of: Carlin Keyword

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

Billy Connolly

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

Billy Connolly

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

Bobby Darin

Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks.

Caroline Rhea

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

Dane Cook

I'm funny at home too, but not deliberately. My wife is usually laughing at me rather than with me.

Daniel Dae Kim

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'

Demetri Martin

I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.

Denis Norden

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.

Don Rickles

I used to go in for Disney auditions, and they'd tell me, 'You're cute and nice but just not funny.'

Gattlin Griffith

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.

Gilbert Gottfried

Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny.

Gilbert Gottfried

People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.

Gilbert Gottfried

You know, albums are a funny thing. They're not like an intellectual decision. It's a collection of your kind of musings.

Glen Hansard

I've always tried to fight against, 'Oh, who's that small funny actress? Let's get her.'

Imelda Staunton

I have a lot of funny friends, and we joke a lot, but I've never really played comedic parts.

Joel Kinnaman

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

That's the easiest job you can have in TV comedy, being the guy who just delivers the funny.

Josh McDermitt

Everything is so funny in the movie. The funniest thing about the movie is the transformations they were able to make with the characters.

Joe Viterelli

In 'War Party,' I play a quarter-breed Indian. It's a serious movie, but it's funny, too.

Kevin Dillon

I can be dramatic. I can be funny. I can be sexy. I can be sad. I can be glad.

Kimberly Elise