Quotes of: Carlin Keyword

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

Joe E. Lewis

Almost anything can be funny if said the right way - but it has to be said the right way.

Kevin Hart

Carol Burnett, who played Miss Hannigan in 'Annie', is as funny as it gets.

Katherine Parkinson

I always remember loving 'Even Stevens' - that show was so brilliant and funny and smart.

Luke Benward

I allow a lot of room for improvisation and funny stuff. I always feel planned.

Michael Bay

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

Milton Berle

My wife is so funny and talented and never lets anybody fail next to her.

Mark Consuelos

In preschool, I would plan out my show-and-tell every week to be funny and exciting.

Maxim Knight

I know I'm funny, because I'm eccentric, I'm odd. I'm not what you expect.

Marian Seldes

You amaze me. You're 229 years old and that's what you think is funny.

Max Wright

That's something a lot of folks don't know about me - I'm pretty darn funny.

Michael Jai White

I really enjoy Martin Sheen - he is very unexpectedly funny, very quick.

Noureen DeWulf

I think it's great when dramatic actors do lighter, funny roles.

Noureen DeWulf

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Robert Benchley

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Rodney Dangerfield

I think people are surprised to learn that I'm pretty goofy and pretty funny.

Susan Egan

If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny.

Sarah Silverman

I haven't played Hedda Gabler yet, but maybe if I did I might find the funny bits.

Sophie Thompson

My parents were very funny - they didn't know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ.

Tim Conway

I don't spend much time on Twitter. I joined because I found it funny.

Tahar Rahim

After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.

Yakov Smirnoff