Typically, people who exercise, start eating better and becoming more productive at work. They smoke less and show more patience with colleagues and family. They use their credit cards less frequently and say they feel less stressed. Exercise is a ke...
Maybe that's why the good Lord gave us these vivid memory capabilities. When stress hits, we can just close our eyes, lean back and relax, and enjoy a game of Tidly-Winks, the sound of a Pete Rose baseball card in the spokes of our bike, or maybe a n...
Earth is not a private club; it is a universal club. Being born allows you to receive a membership card; you don’t have to do anything else for it. And it is the most beautiful club that you will ever find. Once you have realized that you are a mem...
I wanted to make her a greeting card, but as far as I got was folding the paper in half. I left it blank inside, so she’d know how much I love her. I never mailed it, because my tongue was too dry to lick the envelope closed, and my cat was too bus...
What is about to happen is not the reclaiming of Earth by a triumphant Mother Nature, a karmic repudiation of humanity's arrogant ill stewardship. Nothing we ever did mattered one way or another. This event has always been in the cards for man's plan...
...because you are not trying simply to complete a set of books or toys or Weetabix cards, you are trying to complete yourself, to get back to the whole person you were before, as a child, before the obstructions and compromises of adulthood got in t...
Sometimes, I seem to be only able to actually move and get going with things on the razor edge of possibly still managing whatever it is I'm supposed to do. I think, secretly, I might even get a buzz out of it. Maybe I crave the adrenalin like some s...
I'm lucky enough to maintain a lustrous head of hair, like my father did, while both my brothers are bald. But I also have a perennially bad back - a familial bequest they've avoided. I guess you just have to manage the cards you're dealt. And I met ...
I knew from the time I was 6 or 7 that music was something I had to do. Growing up, my parents did everything they knew how to do to support me. My dad was always kinda my roadie; he drove me from gig to gig. But I got my own gigs. I was this 12-year...
I was raised the old-fashioned way, with a stern set of moral principles: Never lie, cheat, steal or knowingly spread a venereal disease. Never speed up to hit a pedestrian or, or course, stop to kick a pedestrian who has already been hit. From which...
Beetlejuice: I gotta card around here, somewhere. Here, here. Who do I have to kill? Here hold that for me, would ya? [hands Barbara a rat] Barbara: Whoa! AHH! Beetlejuice: There. There ya go. Adam: You don't have to kill anybody! Beetlejuice: Ah, po...
Tommy DeVito: [Infuriated at Spider and speaking to the other card players] Hey, what's that movie that Bogart made? Anthony Stabile: Which one? Tommy DeVito: The one where he played a cowboy. He only did one. Anthony Stabile: Oh... ah... The Oklahom...
Male Student: [after the beautiful female student has guessed 5 out of 5 cards right while he has "none"; actually he has one] What are you trying to prove here, anyway? Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm studying the effects of negative reinforcement on ESP abi...
Conrad: This is for you. Nicholas: You shouldn't have. Conrad: What do you get for the man who has... everything? Nicholas: [reading card] "Consumer Recreation Services." Well, I do have golf clubs. Conrad: Call that number. Nicholas: Why? Conrad: Ma...
[first lines] Title Card: In the near future: Corporate networks reach out to the stars, electrons and light flow throughout the universe. - The advance of computerisation, however, has not yet wiped out nations and ethnic groups. Dispatcher: [on rad...
Doug Billings: Either way, you gotta be super smart to count cards, buddy, okay? Alan Garner: Oh, really? Doug Billings: It's not easy. Alan Garner: Okay, well, maybe we should tell that to Rain Man, because he practically bankrupt a casino, and he w...
Keith Frazier: You got a card, in case I need to call you? Madeliene White: [smiles sweetly] Please don't take this personally, but no. I don't think you can afford me. Keith Frazier: Well, don't take this personally, Miss White. Kiss my black ass, o...
Valentine: We each spend, on average, $2,000 a year on cell phone and Internet usage. It gives me great pleasure to announce, those days are over. As of tomorrow, every man, woman, and child can claim a free SIM card that's compatible with any cell p...
Nemo's Father: There was a card from your mother in the post. You haven't looked at it. Nemo age 16: I know, I'll get to it. Nemo's Father: Aren't you going to see her one day? Nemo age 16: I haven't seen her for seven years. If she wanted to see me,...
Feathers: This isn't the first time that handbill has come up. I'd like to know what to do about it. John T. Chance: Well, you could quit playing cards... wearing feathers. Feathers: No, sheriff. No, I'm not going to do that. You see... that's what I...
Neighbor: I wish you'd all lay off for tonight! I can't hear myself think with that racket! Doyle: Hey! HEY! Neighbor: Knock it off or I'm calling the police! Doyle: I told you three times already, the law's on my side! I play cards with J.D. Shelnut...
