If I'd been a cowboy, it might've ended well. Somewhere on the ramble, I'm sure I'd have to sell My guns along the highway. My coins to the table To make a gambler's double, I'd double debts to pay. Prob'ly shrink and slink away, It mightn't've ended...
Caitlin Bree: Can I use your bathroom? Randal Graves: Sure. But there's no lights back there. Caitlin Bree: Why aren't there any lights? Randal Graves: Well, there are, but for some reason they stop working at 5:14 every night. Caitlin Bree: You're k...
Sanford: Hey, Dante, I'm gonna grab a Gatorade, alright? Dante Hicks: If you grab a Gatorade, then everybody's gonna grab one. Sanford: So? Dante Hicks: So, who's gonna pay for these Gatorades? Sanford: What do you care, you shoe polish-smelling moth...
Professor Snape: Potter, what's your hurry? Congratulations. Your performance in the Black Lake was inspiring. Gilllyweed, am I correct? Harry: Yes sir. Professor Snape: Ingenious. A rather rare herb, Gillyweed. Not something found in your everyday g...
Professor Henry Higgins: Marry Freddy! What an infantile idea, what a heartless, wicked, brainless thing to do. She'll regret it. She'll regret it! It's doomed before they even take the vow. [sings] Professor Henry Higgins: I can see her now, "Mrs. F...
Annie Wilkes: Anything else I can get for you while I am in town? How about a tiny tape recorder, or how about a handmade pair of writing slippers? Paul Sheldon: No, just the paper would be fine. Annie Wilkes: Are you sure? Because if you want I can ...
TV Repairman: Hey - who did Muffin take to the Masquerade Ball when her date came down with the measles? David: Her father. TV Repairman: That's right! And how'd she dress him? David: As Prince Charming. TV Repairman: Nice! Remember the one where Bud...
Mattie Ross: You never told me you had a wife. Rooster Cogburn: Oh, well, I didn't have her long. My friends was a pack of river rats and she didn't crave their society so she up and left me and went back to her first husband who was clerkin' in a ha...
Miss Sue: You like Tennessee? That's a good school. Not at the academic level of Ole Miss but they have an outstanding science department. You know what they're famous for? They work with the FBI, to study the effects of soil on decomposing body part...
People have wracked their brains for an explanation of benzene and how the celebrated man, , managed to come up with the concept of the benzene theory. With regard to the last point especially, a friend of mine who is a farmer and has a lively intere...
Interesting how fashion is cyclical,” Jaccob said when she came out of the store with two black plastic bags. “Goth was the look when I was young, too.” “It’s not a look,” Chuck said. “I’m just wearing my feelings on the outside.” �...
This is what we, in the con business, call making a spectacle of ourselves. Let’s try to avoid that from now on.” “Except […] Mr. No-Sex-in-the-Bathrooms is going to describe two probably drunk people who staggered in. Plus, he thinks I’m a...
While Nape was making the bread and Dryas boiling the ram, Daphnis and Chloe had time to go forth as far as the ivy-bush; and when he had set his snares again and pricked his lime-twigs, they not only catched good store of birds, but had a sweet coll...
I'd always assumed Beth and I would be friends forever. But then in middle of the eighth grade, the Goldbergs went through the World's Nastiest Divorce. Beth went a little nuts. I don't blame her. When her dad got involved with this twenty-one year o...
In a society so estranged from animals as ours, we often fail to credit them with any form of language. If we do, it comes under the heading of communication rather than speech. And yet, the great silence we have imposed on the rest of life contains ...
There were, of course, other heroes, little ones who did little things to help people get through: merchants who let profits disappear rather than lay off clerks, store owners who accepted teachers' scrip at face value not knowing if the state would ...
Real poverty is when hunger pangs force from my mind all thoughts but those of food. Real poverty is when the children are not dressed warmly enough for winter. Real poverty is when the housing we can afford is not adequate to the needs of our famili...
What is the spirit of Christmas, you ask? Let me give you the answer in a true story... On a cold day in December, feeling especially warm in my heart for no other reason than it was the holiday season, I walked through the store sporting a big gri...
He shook his head again. “I’m afraid I don’t feel much of anything these days. Especially not hope. I have no time or energy to waste on false wishes and dreams that won’t come true.” “Hope isn’t about ignorant wishing.” She surprised...
Janna knew - Rikki knew — and I knew, too — that becoming Dr Cameron West wouldn't make me feel a damn bit better about myself than I did about being Citizen West. Citizen West, Citizen Kane, Sugar Ray Robinson, Robinson Crusoe, Robinson miso, mi...
I’m completely library educated. I’ve never been to college. I went down to the library when I was in grade school in Waukegan, and in high school in Los Angeles, and spent long days every summer in the library. I used to steal magazines from a s...
