Field Reporter: Chief, do you think that we will be able to defeat these things? Sheriff McClelland: Well, we killed nineteen of them today right in this area. The last three, we caught them trying to claw they're way into an abandoned shed. They mus...
Harry Cooper: [referring to everybody else, who are all upstairs] Let them stay upstairs. Let them. Too many ways those monsters can get in here. We'll see who's right. We'll see, when they come begging me to let them in down here. Helen Cooper: That...
Roger Thornhill: I don't like the games you play, Professor. The Professor: War is hell, Mr. Thornhill. Even when it's a cold one. Roger Thornhill: If you fellows can't lick the VanDamm's of this world without asking girls like her to bed down with t...
[Barbara demands that Sheba must come with her to see her cat put down. Richard tells her to get back in the car so they can go see their son in his school play] Sheba Hart: [to Richard] Give me a minute, will you? I can handle this. Barbara Covett: ...
Nelson Chaney: All I know is that this violates every canon of respectable broadcasting. Frank Hackett: We're not a respectable network. We're a whorehouse network, and we have to take whatever we can get. Nelson Chaney: Well, I don't want any part o...
Ellen Griswold: No, we don't. You gave $500 to Eddie, and everything on this safari has cost twice as much as you figured out. Clark: Honey, there's nothing in that luggage that can't be replaced. Except for your... diaphragm. We can always cash a ch...
Noodles: Let's go for a swim... [accelerates the car down the pier] Max: All right, what are you doing? Philip 'Cockeye' Stein: Hey, Noodles... Don't fuck around, Noodles! Max: Noodles, what are you doing? Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: HEY! You crazy? [N...
Basher: See, when a nuclear weapon detonates it unleashes an electromagnetic pulse which shuts down any power source within its blast radius. Now that tends not to matter in most cases because a nuclear weapon usually destroys everything you might ne...
Bill Lumbergh: Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would...
Milton Waddams: I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collatin...
Delmar O'Donnell: Care for some gopher? Ulysses Everett McGill: No thank you, Delmar. A third of a gopher would only arouse my appetite without beddin' 'er back down. Delmar O'Donnell: Oh, you can have the whole thing. Me and Pete already had one api...
[last lines] [Fletcher knows he's talking to Josey Wales] Fletcher: I think I'll go down to Mexico to try to find him. Josey Wales: And then? Fletcher: He's got the first move. I owe him that. I think I'll try to tell him the war is over. What do you...
[David looks up from his job at the soda counter to see Jennifer determinedly leading Skip out of the place and down the sidewalk] David: Oh, shit! [He takes a flying jump-leap over the counter] David: *Jennifer*! David: Jennifer, stop! [He chases Je...
Dillon: Dutch, the General's sayin' that a couple of our friends are about to get squeezed, and we can't let that happen. We need the best. That's why you're here. Dutch: Go on. Dillon: Simple setup. One-day operation. We pick up their trail at the c...
Lorenzo St. DuBois: [singing] And I give a flower to the big fat cop / He takes his club and he beats me up / I give a flower to the garbage man / He stuffs my girl in the garbage can / And I give it to the landlord when the rent comes 'round / He th...
Indiana: The Ark of the Covenant, the chest that the Hebrews used to carry around the Ten Commandments. Major Eaton: What, you mean THE Ten Commandments? Indiana: Yes, the actual Ten Commandments, the original stone tablets that Moses brought down fr...
[a knock at the door] Alexander Rance: It's open. Top marks for speed, no marks for cookery. [holding plate with egg] Alexander Rance: What, may I ask, do you call this? Michael Sullivan: Put it down. Alexander Rance: Mr. Sullivan! Michael Sullivan: ...
Remy: Hey, I brought you something to... [sees Emile eating garbage] Remy: AH! NO, NO, NO, NO! SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW! [Emile obeys] Remy: [sighs] I have *got* to teach you about food. Close your eyes. [Emile obeys; Remy holds out piece of cheese] R...
Lisa: What's he doing? Cleaning house? Jeff: He's washing and scrubbing down the bathroom walls. Stella: Must've splattered a lot. [both Jeff and Lisa look at Stella with disgust] Stella: Come on, that's what were all thinkin'. He killed her in there...
IRS Agent Stewart: Your income, Mr Court, hasn't changed substantially in seventeen years. Jim Court: That's right. IRS Agent Stewart: Why would you stay so long with an operation that is so clearly not a growth enterprise? Jim Court: Taking care of ...
Donkey: Okay, so here's another question: Say there's a woman who digs you, right, but you really don't like her THAT quick - now how do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? How do you...
