Officer Foltz: [giving kids a tour of the station] See kids, this is where we bring suspects in order to be detained. Trust me, you do not want to be sitting in these seats. We call this place "Loserville". [shows Alan, Phil, and Stu, a fat kid comes...
Elwood P. Dowd: Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" - she always called me Elwood - "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasa...
[first lines] Freaky Mammal: Well, why don't they call it The Big Chill? Or The Nippy Era? I'm just sayin', how do we know it's an Ice Age? Freaky Mammal: [irritably] Because... of all... [shouts] Freaky Mammal: ...the *ice*! Freaky Mammal: Well, thi...
Mary Hatch: [trapped naked in a bush] Shame on you! I'll tell your mother! George Bailey: [thoughtfully] My mother's way up on the corner there. Mary Hatch: I'll call the police. George Bailey: They're way downtown. Anyway, they'd be on my side. Mary...
Helen: I'm calling to celebrate a momentous occasion. We are now *officially* moved in. Bob: That's great, honey. And the last three years don't count because... Helen: Because I finally unpacked the last box. Now it's official! Ha ha ha! Why do we h...
Debbie: The subheading reads, 'Brown and Williamson has a 500 page dossier attacking chief critic.' It quotes Richard Scruggs calling it, 'the worse kind of an organized smear campaign against a Whistleblower'. 'A closer look at the file and independ...
[last lines] Dr. Hill: Get on your radios and sound an all points alarm. Block all highways, stop all traffic, and call every law enforcement agency in the state. [on phone] Dr. Hill: Operator, get me the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Yes, it's an...
Perry: Go. Sleep badly. Any questions, hesitate to call. Harry: Bad. Perry: Excuse me? Harry: Sleep bad. Otherwise it makes it seem like the mechanism that allows you to sleep... Perry: What, fuckhead? Who taught you grammar? Badly's an adverb. Get o...
Harry: Oh Wow. Woo. It's tiny. Is this real? Perry: Yeah, it's a Derringer. It's loaded. I call it my faggot gun. Harry: Because... Perry: Because its only good for a couple shots, then you gotta drop it for something better. You asked, Chief.
Didymus: [finally entering the castle] Well, come on then! Sarah: No! I have to face him alone. Didymus: But why? Sarah: Because that's the way it's done! Didymus: Well, if that is the way it is done, then that is the way you must do it. But, should ...
[watching British play Cricket so they can learn, and they see the Umpire stick his finger up] Tipu: Why is he pointing up? Bhuvan: That's what I'M trying to understand. Guran: Maybe he's calling for his Ma. She's sitting up there, eh? [Laughing]
Yuri Orlov: Every faction in Africa calls themselves by these noble names - Liberation this, Patriotic that, Democratic Republic of something-or-other... I guess they can't own up to what they usually are: the Federation of Worse Oppressors Than the ...
The Bullet Farmer: Come on! I've been called to the torture! Immortan Joe: Patience! The Bullet Farmer: Oh, you stay here with your grief, daddy. I'll fetch 'em for ya. The People Eater: Be careful! Protect the assets! The Bullet Farmer: Just one ang...
Eve Kendall: While I'm calling, you can change your clothes. Roger Thornhill: Where do you propose I do that? In Marshall Fields' window? Eve Kendall: I sort of had the men's room in mind. Roger Thornhill: Did you, now? You're the smartest girl I eve...
Ralph: This is dark chocolate. It comes all the way from Switzerland, Europe. That's near France, see. They call it 'bitter sweet.' Melts in your mouth. Boss Spearman: You tried it? Ralph: No. Boss Spearman: How do you know it melts in your mouth? Ra...
Jody: Lance! The goddamn phone's ringing! Lance: [getting up to answer the phone] I can hear it. Jody: I thought you told those fucking assholes never to call here this late! Lance: Yeah, I told them. And that is exactly what I'm going to tell this f...
Ray Fremick: Do you go by another name? Plato: They call me Plato. Crawford Family Maid: He was a Greek philosopher. They [Plato turns away] Crawford Family Maid: You talk nice to the man, John, he's going to help you. Plato: Nobody can help me.
Walt Disney: Well, Pamela Travers! Oh, my dear gal, you can't tell how excited I am to finally meet you... P.L. Travers: It's an honour, Mr. Disney. Walt Disney: Oh, Walt, now, you gotta call me Walt.
Max Denoff: [telling a joke to the train passengers] Woman always mess up my last name. I was with a girl the other night and she kept calling me "Getoff." She was like, "Getoff! Getoff!" I'm like, "No, it's Denoff. Denoff." She says, "No, you're fat...
Scotty: If it isn't Captain James Tiberius Perfect-Hair! [to Keenser] Scotty: Did you hear that? I called him "Perfect-Hair". James T. Kirk: Where are you? Scotty: Where are you? James T. Kirk: Are you drunk? Scotty: What I do on my private time is m...
Maria: I can't seem to stop singing wherever I am. And what's worse, I can't seem to stop saying things - anything and everything I think and feel. Mother Abbess: Some people would call that honesty. Maria: Oh, but it's terrible, Reverend Mother.
