After my second, I started working with a nutritionist who specializes in post-baby weight loss. It's called Simply Beautiful Mom. I'm in restaurants all the time because of work, and she actually will look at menus online before I go and she says, '...
If I should have a daughter, instead of 'Mom,' she's gonna call me 'Point B,' because that way she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me. And I'm going to paint solar systems on the backs of her hands so she ha...
My mom passed away at 41 from diabetes. And I'm 42, thank you. I didn't want to do that to my son. So any time I was at the gym, that thing that helped me do that last squat was my son calling some other woman mommy. And that would just give me that ...
Virgil: [after the aliens call off the tidal wave that would have wiped out humanity] You could've done it. Why didn't you? Aliens: [via the water screen, in Bud's typing] Knew this was one way ticket, but you know I had to come. Love you wife.
Frost: Man, I'm telling you, I got a bad feeling about this drop. Crowe: You always say that, Frost. You always say, "I got a bad feeling about this drop." Frost: Okay, okay. When we get back without you, I'll call your folks.
Willard: [voice-over] He was close, real close. I couldn't see him yet, but I could feel him, as if the boat were being sucked upriver and the water was flowing back into the jungle. Whatever was going to happen, it wasn't gonna be the way they call ...
Maj. Julian Cook: [reporting another delay to his officers] Ah, I suppose you're wondering why I called you here. I want to tell you that I've decided to cross the river like George Washington; standing in the prow of the boat.
Marty McFly: You're Mad Dog Tannen! Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Mad Dog? I hate that name. I hate it. You hear? Nobody calls me "Mad Dog", especially not some duded-up, egg-suckin' gutter trash.
The Dude: Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not "Mr. Lebowski". You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
Edward Cole: The sequel was like that. She never backed me up on anything. Carter Chambers: The sequel? Edward Cole: The second Mrs Edward Cole. [Carter rolls his eyes] Edward Cole: Hell, that woman hated me. Kyle the parachutist: Maybe because you c...
Celine: One night I heard some noise on my fire excape, so I called 911. And the cops came eventually... Jesse: Yeah like three hours later. Celine: [laughing] Yeah, after I had been raped and killed about 10 times.
Isaiah is by far the finest and least objectionable of the seventeen prophets whose supposed productions form the latter part of the Old Testament. A distinctly higher moral tone appears in the writings called by his name, and this is especially noti...
We get a little further from perfection, each year on the road, I guess that's what they call character, I guess that's just the way it goes, better to be dusty than polished, like some store window mannequin, why don't you touch me where i'm rusty, ...
How thin and insecure is that little beach of white sand we call consciousness. I've always known that in my writing it is the dark troubled sea of which I know nothing, save its presence, that carried me. I've always felt that creating was a fearles...
We are all instruments pulling the bows across our own lungs. Windmills, still startling in every storm. Have you ever seen a newborn blinking at the light? I wanna do that every day. I wanna know what the kite called itself when it got away, when it...
Back in the 1950s, there was a top-secret program code-named SUNTAN being conducted at a top-secret facility called Skunk Works. Its objective? To develop a liquid-hydrogen-powered spy plane. Because liquid hydrogen is incredibly volatile, early expe...
I was on Facebook. I was on MySpace. And somebody said to me, You should check out this thing called Twitter. I knew five people that were on it, so I started following those people and seeing what they were doing, and then I applied my own sensibili...
The thing we call critics are not really reviewers, they are not really critics. They don't have the discipline to write what we would term as critique - it's really just reviewers. They have a common man kind of taste. If you watch them overall, the...
When the time has come, every leaf turns to face the sun! It doesn't know if it has to, but because the call has reached it: Not knowing what to expect, it will, move slightly, twist patiently and try to embrace whatever is coming! It might be too st...
Constantly exposing yourself to popular culture and the mass media will ultimately shape your reality tunnel in ways that are not necessarily conducive to achieving your Soul Purpose and Life Calling. Modern society has generally ‘lost the plot’....
My junior year, I went to an LSAT-prep course. I flipped over my test and thought, 'You bastards.' I walked out and went to Waffle House. That's where I had what I call 'The Waffle House Epiphany': I didn't want to be a lawyer. I wanted to make a den...
