My dad was always snoozing on the couch, like Dagwood Bumstead. He was a lazy motherfucker. God bless him. He was always working on some kind of get-rich-quick scheme. This is what my dad was like: I'd say, Hey, Dad, we studied penguins today in scho...
Be the kind of person that others admire, can count on, trust and enjoy spending time with. After you have developed that reputation, people will start to ask you what you do, and will want to work with you on the things that matter. When you focus o...
Nine requisites for contented living: Health enough to make work a pleasure. Wealth enough to support your needs. Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them. Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them. Patience enough to toil unti...
Baloo: So just try and... relax. Yeah. Cool it. Fall apart in my backyard. 'Cause let me tell you something, little britches: if you act like that bee at... Uh-uh. You're working too hard. And don't spend your time lookin' around for something you wa...
Felix: Now you're here. Why? Max: I lost my stuff. The list. Felix: I want you to listen to me real well. Special groups put together the list of dedos. Max: Dedos? Felix: Fingers, informants. Signal interceptions with voice-recognition software, sur...
Mr. Bobinsky: Caroline, wait! The mice asked me to give you message. Coraline Jones: The jumping mice? Mr. Bobinsky: They are saying, "Do not go through little door." Do you know such a thing? Coraline Jones: The one behind the wallpaper? But it's al...
Steve Rogers: Arlim Zola was a German scientist who worked with the Red Skull. He's been dead for years. Dr. Arnim Zola: [inside a machine] First correction, I am Swiss. Second, look around you, I have never been more alive! In 1972, I received a ter...
Donnie: [in a letter] Dear Roberta Sparrow, I have reached the end of your book and there are so many things that I need to ask you. Sometimes I'm afraid of what you might tell me. Sometimes I'm afraid that you'll tell me that this is not a work of f...
Barton Keyes: Now look, Walter. A guy takes out an accident policy that's worth $100,000 if he's killed on the train. Then, two weeks later, he *is* killed on the train. And, not from the train accident, mind you, but falling off some silly observati...
Chief Insp. Hubbard: Sooner or later, he'll come back here. As I've pinched his latch key, he'll try the one in the handbag. When that doesn't fit, he'll realize his mistake, put two and two together, and look under the stair carpet. Mark Halliday: I...
Gru: [Sees Edith near his iron maiden] No, no! Stay away from there! It's fragile! [the iron maiden closes with Edith inside; a red liquid leaks from underneath; Margo and Agnes gasp] Gru: Well, I suppose the plan will work with two. Edith: [Inside t...
Driver: If I drive for you, you get your money. You tell me where we start, where we're going, where we're going afterwards. I give you five minutes when we get there. Anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours. No matter what. Anything a mi...
Bernie Rose: What do you got that the big professional race teams don't? Shannon: I got the driver. Bernie Rose: You just told me they had half a dozen drivers. Shannon: Not like this. This kid is special. I've been working with him for a while. I've...
Dr. King Schultz: Let's just hope she works in the house, not in the field. Django: Oh, no, she ain't no field nigger. She... She pretty. And she talk good, too. But when they tore her back up and then they... burned that runaway "r" on her cheek... ...
Officer Allen: Will he be OK, Doc? Psychologist: The years spent in isolation have not equipped him with the tools necessary to judge right from wrong. He's had no context. He's been completely without guidance. Furthermore, his work - the garden scu...
[about Tyler splicing frames of pornography into family films] Narrator: So when the snooty cat, and the courageous dog, with the celebrity voices meet for the first time in reel three, that's when you'll catch a flash of Tyler's contribution to the ...
[In the Whammy Burger] Bill Foster: Why am I calling you by your first names? I don't even know you. I still call my boss "Mister", and I've been working for him for seven years, but all of a sudden I walk in here and I'm calling you Rick and Sheila ...
Forrest Gump: Forrest: Momma said there's only so much fortune a man really needs and the rest is just for showing off. So, I gave a whole bunch of it to the Foursquare Gospel Church and I gave a whole bunch to the Bayou La Batre Fishing Hospital. An...
Ferris: Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up...
Bob Zelnick: [Impersonating Nixon, discussing Jack Kennedy] That man, he screwed anything that moved, fixed elections, and took us into Vietnam. And the American people, they loved him for it! Whereas I, Richard Milhous Nixon, worked around the clock...
Sean: Hey, Gerry, In the 1960s there was a young man that graduated from the University of Michigan. Did some brilliant work in mathematics. Specifically bounded harmonic functions. Then he went on to Berkeley. He was assistant professor. Showed amaz...
