Crazy Earl: These are great days we're living, bros. We are jolly green giants, walking the Earth with guns. These people we wasted here today are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we're gonna miss not havi...
Atheists are spiritual slackers, right? We are the stoners of the cosmos. We think we’re all over-intelligent, free-thinking, free-spirited, uber-cool, hippy-dippy, science-minded, leaning-to-the-left, hedonistic, children of Theodorus the Atheist....
[Tom is awakened in the middle of the night by his phone ringing] Tom Stall: [sleepily] Hello? Richie Cusack: Hey, Bro-him. You're still pretty good with the killing. That's exciting. Tom Stall: [quickly waking up] Richie? Richie Cusack: [chuckles] Y...
Finbar McBride: You said you weren't going to talk to me if I sat here, Joe. Joe Oramas: I haven't said anything in like twenty minutes. [Fin checks his pocket watch] Finbar McBride: Nine. Joe Oramas: You timed me? Finbar McBride: Mm-hmm. Joe Oramas:...
My point is that this Potter business has legs. It will run and run, and we must be utterly mad, as a country, to leave it to the Americans to make money from a great British invention. I appeal to the children of this country and to their Potter-fie...
Michael Murphy: *Fuck.* Worst fucking comms. Marcus Luttrell: Well, we could light these goats on fire, smoke signal our way outta here. Danny Dietz: Yeah, I could walk down to the village, ask 'em to borrow a phone. Marcus Luttrell: You could get so...
Sergeant Mac Eliot: [to Blain's corpse] Here we are again bro... Just you and me. Same kind of moon same kind of jungle. Real number 10 remember... Whole platoon, 32 men chopped into meat... We walk out just you and me, nobody else. Right on top huh?...
These are all direct quotes, except every time they use a curse word, I'm going to use the name of a famous American poet: 'You Walt Whitman-ing, Edna St. Vincent Millay! Go Emily Dickinson your mom!' 'Thanks for the advice, you pathetic piece of E.E...
Mike Zavala: Janet, you got a lot of heart hooking up with a cop. Because it takes a strong person. And I see a lot of cop's wives in here, they're all nodding their heads. You gotta take care of her, bro. Cause I'm her big brother now. And every cop...
Justin - DEVGRU: So Patrick, be honest with me. You really believe this story? I mean [turns to Maya] Justin - DEVGRU: no offense, no offense, I don't. [turns away] Justin - DEVGRU: But... Osama bin Laden? Patrick - Squadron Team Leader: Yeah. Justin...
Ronan: Citizens of Xandar, behold your guardians of the galaxy! What fruit have they wrought? Peter Quill: [dances] Ooh, child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh child, things will get brighter. You listen to these words. Ooh child, things are gonna g...
Hey, bro, do you think you can put Shorty back on her chain?" I stepped forward with my hands on my hips, only slightly intimidated to find Kaleb almost eye level with me when he was seated and I was standing. "First of all, no one is the boss of me ...
Chuckie: Wait, Bill. Hold it. Did you hear that? [Man moans upstairs] Chuckie: Morgan! If you're watching pornos in my mom's room again, I'm gonna give you a fucking beating! [Morgan runs downstairs] Morgan: What's up fellas? Billy: Morgan, why don't...
Jesus waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died. They'd be all, "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I died yesterday!" and the...
