Quotes of: Bring Keyword

Alcohol helps you to loosen up to make memories you won’t forget, and then it helps you to forget them completely.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I want to make enough money to buy an island. Something modest, like Australia.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Every sex noise can be converted into a note and frozen in a can of soda. Ask me about menstruation music today!

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

When she offered me a spot of tea, I said, “No thanks, I’ve already got a spot of tea on my shirt.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

A can of tomato juice is not like a can of blood. Still, I drink one daily.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I pet my cat like a guitar, but I hold him like a stack of musical pancakes.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Is there a gun that shoots rain? Oh yeah, water guns. How technologically advanced we are!

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I just designed the world’s most inefficient no. It’s modeled after a downward sloping maybe.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

If I had to describe my penis with a movie title, it would be: Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Trying to remember dreams is like trying to catch fog in a fishing net. The best time of day to catch something is night.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Grandpa said I was speeding, but he drives as fast as a parked car, so anything that moves as fast as a statue is supersonic. 

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Never start a fight with your hands in your pockets. Unless you’re instigating with an armless man.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I was once attacked by a Federal park. But due to governmental inefficiencies, I had to report it to highway patrol.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Yesterday it was a hundred outside. It was fifty degrees, but the air was saturated with average and smog-like intellect.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

If a man were choking, what would I do? Depends. If that man is my boss, I’d strangle him.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I remember the day coach decided to bench me. We were walking in a botanical garden.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Before grabbing a mythological creature, I’d recommend putting on oven mitts. Especially if you pick up a Phoenix.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I always carry a spoon in my pocket. You know, just in case it rains.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Goodreads.com could be read Good Reads, or it could be read Goo Dreads. Of course, it couldn’t be the latter, because who dreads goo?

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Life is defined by time and seasons. Summer brings sunshine, warm and flowering. Spring brings warmth and blossoms of flowers. Fall brings the falling of leaves and cool days. Winter brings cold dry harsh weather and trees are without leaves.

Lailah Gifty Akita

She’s the kind of woman I could see myself spending the rest of my life with—after I turn 99.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger