Richard Vernon: [From his office] Jesus Christ Almighty! What in God' s name is going on in here? What was that ruckus? Andrew Clark: Uh, what ruckus? Richard Vernon: I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus. Brian Johnson: Could you describe the...
John Bender: Uh, Dick? Excuse me; Rich. Will milk be made available to us? Andrew Clark: We're extremely thirsty, sir. Claire Standish: I have a really low tolerance for dehydration. Andrew Clark: I've seen her dehydrate, sir. It's pretty gross.
Allison Reynolds: You have problems. Andrew Clark: Oh, I have problems? Allison Reynolds: You do everything everyone tells you to do and that is a problem. Andrew Clark: Okay, fine, but I didn't dump my purse out on the couch and invite everyone into...
Andrew Clark: So... what's your poison? [Allison says nothing] Andrew Clark: ... Ok, forget I asked. Allison Reynolds: Vodka. Andrew Clark: Vodka? When do you drink vodka. Allison Reynolds: Whenever. Andrew Clark: How much? Allison Reynolds: Tons.
John Bender: Sporto. Andrew Clark: What? John Bender: You get along with your parents? Andrew Clark: Well, if I say yes I'm an idiot, right? John Bender: You're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, well, you're a liar too.
[John Bender is absently tearing up books] Andrew Clark: That's real intelligent. John Bender: You're right. It's wrong to destroy literature. It's such fun to read. And [examines title] John Bender: Moe-Lay really pumps my nads. Claire Standish: Mol...
Andrew: I said, leave her alone. Bender: You gonna make me? Andrew: Yeah. Bender: You and how many of your friends? Andrew: Just me. Just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you. You hitting the floor. Anytime you're ready, pal.
When a woman didn't enjoy it, she leaves early in the morning. Those who had a nice time will wait until the sun comes out, requests breakfast and taxi money. In the morning that lady requested breakfast and taxi money. You don't ask for taxi money f...
But now I understand something more fully that I once only understood abstractly. I see how utterly ridiculous it is to think that the state can be the right means to help those who are poor or living at the margins of society. The state is their ene...
Andrew: [after Claire has given Allison a makeover] What happened to you? Allison Reynolds: Why? Claire did it... What's wrong? Andrew: Nothing's wrong... it's just so different, you know? I can see your face. Allison Reynolds: Is that good or bad? A...
[to himself, crawling above some acoustic ceiling tiles] Bender: Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says... [the ceili...
Claire Standish: [about her parents] I don't think either one of them gives a shit about me. It's like they use me just to get back at each other. Allison Reynolds: [her first word of dialogue so far] Ha! Claire Standish: [long pause] Shut up!
Richard Vernon: You think about this: when you get old, these kids - when *I* get old - they're going to be running the country. Carl: Yeah. Richard Vernon: Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night. That when I get older, t...
My breakfast is very important.
Feedback is the breakfast of champions.
English muffins with avocado is one of my favorite breakfasts.
I must have a drink of breakfast.
If your child is constantly interrupting or doing other things to get your attention, he is not getting enough communication of the right kind. Just the fact that you are in the house with him all day does not mean that you are necessarily devoting a...
Scoop out my soul with a spoon like it’s a cantaloupe, and I’ll tell you that love is breakfast. And I’d love to make breakfast to Agatha one more time.
I’m glad scrambled eggs don’t have lips, because when I’m grinning over a hearty breakfast, it would really freak me out to see my breakfast grinning back. I’ve eaten a man for less than that.
John Bender: YOU ARE A BITCH. Claire Standish: Why? 'Cause I'm telling the truth, that makes me a bitch? John Bender: NO. 'Cause you know how shitty that is to do someone, and you don't got the balls to stand up to your friends and tell them you're g...
