My father is the most genial Midwestern guy imaginable, but for him, disaster lurks around every corner—financial ruin, squandered health, pyramid schemes, airbags failing to deploy—so he tends to use fear as a parenting tool to try to goad his d...
Mama Fratelli: Four waters. Is that all? Mouth, Mikey: [everyone else says yes] Mouth: No! I want the veal scalopini. Mikey: Shut up Mouth. Mouth: I want a good fettucini alfredo. I want a bottle of fettucine, a 1981. Mouth: [makes a kissing sound w...
Mayor of Colleville: [meeting the British on the beach] Welcome; welcome, friends. I brought champagne, but I do know think it will be enough for all of you. Lord Lovat: Quite alright. We have a pressing engagement; the war. Move inland. [to his bagp...
Ursula: [watching Flotsam and Jetsam knock the boat with Ariel and Eric in it about to kiss] Nice work boys. That was a close one too close! The little tramp! [sighs] Ursula: Well, she's better than I thought. At this rate, he'll be kissing her by su...
Jean-Baptiste Grenouille: That's a really good perfume. [he holds the bottle out to Baldini, who turns away] Jean-Baptiste Grenouille: Don't you want to smell it, Master? Giuseppe Baldini: I'm not in the mood to test it now. I have other things on my...
Dude: I quit, John. I quit. John T. Chance: All right, quit. Nobody's trying to stop you. You wanna quit, quit! Go back to the bottle, get drunk. One thing, though. The next time someone throws a dollar into a spittoon, don't expect me to do anything...
Olive: Hey, didn't I tell you to make "horse durves"? Venus: I don't make nothin' out of horses, especially "horse durves", 'cause I don't know what they are, and neither do you. Olive: Oh, aren't you the big mouth since you hit your number! [raising...
You know, you hear about these movements for women, and for children, and for people who are any race but white, and you think that it's about time that men got a movement. Think about it. Guys can't play the piano, or dance, or sing. We can't cry, o...
The flames of the fire leapt up and surrounded her, consuming her, becoming her. Heat filled and flushed her, breaking the bottle and she soared up and up. She came to stand in a sun's center. But that even faded and she rode pillion with Emmerich as...
Well, I would tell Danny. I'd probably edit for Josh. That is if there was anything worth editing. “Joshua Roberts, you had better get your butt on the move!” Danny hollered as he walked down the stairs. I was nervously waiting for them to leave ...
When I was a girl, my life was music that was always getting louder. Everything moved me. A dog following a stranger. That made me feel so much. A calender that showed the wrong month. I could have cried over it. I did. Where the smoke from the chimn...
That’s why we all hate ’em, he thought. Those expressionless eyes watch us, those big faces turn to follow us, and doesn’t it just look as if they’re making notes and taking names? If you heard that one had bashed in someone’s head over in ...
Charity is salt in the wound. It is painful. The state gives charity with the bitter hatred of a victim to his blackmailer. The receiver of free money is subjected to harassment, insult, and profound humiliation. Newspapers are enlisted to heap scorn...
I am running and singing and when it’s raining I’m the only one left on the open street, smiling with my eyes fixed on the sky because it’s cleaning me. I’m the one on the other side of the party, hearing laughter and the emptying of bottles ...
We danced in the handkerchief-big space between the speak-easy tables, in which stood the plates of half-eaten spaghetti or chicken bones and the bottles of Dago red. For about five minutes the dancing had some value in itself, then it became very mu...
For I was hungry, while you had all you needed. I was thirsty, but you drank bottled water. I was a stranger, and you wanted me deported. I needed clothes, but you needed clothes. I was sick, and you pointed out the behaviors that led to my sickness....
I dye my jeans jet black once a week, but they never seem dark enough. I bleach my hair bright white twice a month but it never seems light enough. I drink two and a half bottles of champagne every night but I never seem drunk enough. And I know I’...
She quickly realized she had an affinity for the older books and their muted scents of past dinners and foreign countries, the tea and chocolate stains coloring the phrases. You could never be certain what you would find in a book that has spent time...
A doctor, a logician and a marine biologist had also just arrived, flown in at phenomenal expense from Maximegalon to try to reason with the lead singer who had locked himself in the bathroom with a bottle of pills and was refusing to come out till i...
Hey, have you heard that one about the difference between me, Wit, and my loutish cousin, Hilarity? No? Okay, so I walk into a bar, you see, very unassuming, and order a martini. Then the bartender, Hilarity, hauls off and squirts me in the face with...
As the wine went down in the bottles, patriotism arose in the three men. And when the wine was gone they went down the hill arm in arm for comradeship and safety, and they walked into Monterey. In front of an enlistment station they cheered loudly fo...
