Quotes of: Booze Keyword

Is there a gun that shoots rain? Oh yeah, water guns. How technologically advanced we are!

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I just designed the world’s most inefficient no. It’s modeled after a downward sloping maybe.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

If I had to describe my penis with a movie title, it would be: Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Trying to remember dreams is like trying to catch fog in a fishing net. The best time of day to catch something is night.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Grandpa said I was speeding, but he drives as fast as a parked car, so anything that moves as fast as a statue is supersonic. 

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Never start a fight with your hands in your pockets. Unless you’re instigating with an armless man.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I was once attacked by a Federal park. But due to governmental inefficiencies, I had to report it to highway patrol.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Yesterday it was a hundred outside. It was fifty degrees, but the air was saturated with average and smog-like intellect.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

If a man were choking, what would I do? Depends. If that man is my boss, I’d strangle him.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I remember the day coach decided to bench me. We were walking in a botanical garden.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Before grabbing a mythological creature, I’d recommend putting on oven mitts. Especially if you pick up a Phoenix.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I always carry a spoon in my pocket. You know, just in case it rains.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Goodreads.com could be read Good Reads, or it could be read Goo Dreads. Of course, it couldn’t be the latter, because who dreads goo?

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Irony has only emergency use. Carried over time it is the voice of the trapped who have come to enjoy their cage.

Alcohol and Poetry: John Berryman and the Booze Talking

She’s the kind of woman I could see myself spending the rest of my life with—after I turn 99.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I was the last person to see her alive. The cops don’t believe me, because I saw her before I was born.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

A sex trophy should be functional, and shaped like a dildo, yet decorative, and shaped like Ben Bernanke. Insert it in your ass as desired.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

Somebody left a pair of baby shoes on a bench. I would have taken them home, if only they weren’t too big for my feet.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I got him a cool gift. I got him a pack of razors, and a really furry dead cat.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

The butcher died, and he requested to be cremated. But I don’t want to burn him, because I like my meat medium rare.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger

I cried during Old Yeller. Not the part when the dog got shot, but in the beginning, just before the movie actually starts.

If you bring the booze and food, I'll bring the thirst and hunger