Quotes of: Book Keyword

Do you get the same peace of mind that I do when you're causing random damage? Especially random, senseless, mindless damage that serves no real purpose. That's my favorite kind, you know! That's the best!

Dragonkin, Book 3: Undersky

There's major depression, and then there's clinical depression. Major depression is what makes you jump off a bridge. I have clinical depression. I jump out of first story windows. It's the psychological equivalent of lying on a bed of rubber nails.

The Depressed Guy's Book of Wisdom

The shifting sands of the world... show how much the surrealists were drawn towards an interrogation of what reality actually is. Unlike fabulists of whatever hue, there is a materiality in surrealist writing that resolutely keeps it, one might say, ...

Dedalus Book of Surrealism 2: The Myth of the World

One can never read too little of bad, or too much of good books: bad books are intellectual poison; they destroy the mind. In order to read what is good one must make it a condition never to read what is bad; for life is short, and both time and stre...

Essays and Aphorisms

I got fat, and I decided to do something about it, so I got fatter.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Abstain from reading comedy or other government economic statistics.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

God ordered the world and all things in it, and I ordered a pizza and all things on it.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I ought to fire one of my two employees into the other one’s asshole.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

If I were a magician, I’d hand out broken compasses. It’s all about misdirection. 

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

In the name of freedom and redistribution of wealth, I’ve decided to grow a beard on my chest.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be there, but I’ll also be late.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

When push comes to shove, I’m going to figure out that this door needs to be pulled to be opened.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

One thing I often get carried away with is piggyback rides.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

If we make it out of this alive, I’ll kill you. So you have that to look forward to.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

You don’t have to visit an asylum to see insanity. All you have to do is visit Washington DC.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

If I told you I don’t tell lies, that itself would be a lie.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I am honest and enthusiastic, except when I’m lying down.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I have a rough marriage. It feels like sandpaper, only not as soft and gentle on the anus.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I can play the trumpet, but only if I have a sufficient quantity of anal lube.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I dated an IRS agent, and I cheated on her. Not with a woman, but on my taxes.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Don’t scream out my name in bed. Scream out random fractions instead.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.