Quotes of: Book Keyword

With my career I want to either make something or make an impact. Writers both make something, and make an impact.

This Book Has No Title

I am the alphabet soup of love. Eat me or read me, but don’t feed me to the cats.

This Book Has No Title

I cut an inch off of every straw I see, just to make the world suck a little less. 

This Book Has No Title

It may be bad for you, but government has no role in dictating our lives. People should be free to imprison themselves.

This Book Has No Title

The early morning is too strong to drink straight, so I need to mix in a little coffee to be able to hold it down.

This Book Has No Title

I listen better with earplugs in, so I can see what your body is really saying.

This Book Has No Title

I remember I laughed so hard I cried. But my response was half appropriate, because I was at a funeral.

This Book Has No Title

When I’m asleep I’m a politician, and when I’m awake I’m a criminal. Throughout the day and night, my mentality never changes.

This Book Has No Title

When your family dies, that’s a bummer, but that’s life. When my family dies, it’s a tragedy and the world is unbalanced and biased. 

This Book Has No Title

Does Ziploc make body bags? I’ll bet the corpses would stay fresher for longer if they did.

This Book Has No Title

The best part about love is it’ll still be around long after I’m dead. That’s also the worst part.

This Book Has No Title

My life outlook isn’t cloudy. That’s just the weather report for the rest of my life.

This Book Has No Title

-I’m looking for a man—  -There are several suspects in Topeka, Ks. that match that description. Why don’t you try there first?

This Book Has No Title

We were getting a divorce. But not from each other. Then we were going to get married. But not to each other.

This Book Has No Title

I go to sleep in my business suit, because it makes my dreams of success seem more real.

This Book Has No Title

I would say exploit the stupid, because they’re expendable and loyal, but it’s a fact: politicians are not loyal.

This Book Has No Title

When the food runs out, the family reunion is over. It’s cool that out of all my relatives, I’m the only cannibal.

This Book Has No Title

Before job interviews, I think: What color tie best represents me as a person this company would be interested in?

This Book Has No Title

I let the feeling wash over me, and then I dried off with a fur coat and went for a walk on my unicycle.

This Book Has No Title

I thought it was a tree log, but it was just an erect elephant penis. But that didn’t stop me from trying to throw it on the campfire.

This Book Has No Title

The radio signal was scrambled, and so were my eggs. I got tired of eating commercial breaks for breakfast.

This Book Has No Title