Quotes of: Book Keyword

If love came in a cardboard tube, I’d probably send it priority mail. But I’d make you pay for shipping.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I went out to eat on a restaurant’s opening night. It was packed! I guess people heard I’d be dining there and came to adore me.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I am innocent! But only because the opportunity to partake in an activity that would render me guilty has not presented itself.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I don’t understand people who don’t like meatloaf. Your mom doesn’t make it like Michael Aday does.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

On March 5th, I'm having my birthday celebration. The party starts at midnight, and ends at 12:01 AM. Don't be late!

This Book is Not FOR SALE

You can't put a price tag on human life. But if you could, I'd demand coupons for clones.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Sometimes I pretend I'm from the 19th century. Then I drive around and say, Wow! So this is what the future's like, huh?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Thinking ahead is like remembering the future. How about that time we made love? I’ll bet it will be amazing.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Her and I, we passed each other, and now she’s in my past. That’s one present I’d like to unwrap in the future.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

It was queer meeting him there—odd I mean—and what are the odds we’d meet at a gay bar? I was there to meet a woman, I think.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Some people think nature is their God. I'd like to apologize to all those people for pissing on their religion.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

What I call talking to God, you may call talking to myself. Of course, I’m flattered that you’d think I am God.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Farmers don’t picket government corruption, they picket fences. Let this be a lesson in love and the proper way to separate churlish and state.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Is that a ziggurat in your pocket or are you just Mesopotamia? You should know I sell happy-to-see-me's & bananas individually or by the pocketful.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Being out in the sunlight brightens my mood, especially if that sunlight is reflected off the moon.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Don’t put the hat in hate and then wear it around with pride. Wear your love like socks for gloves, and let the world know you're serious.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The three of us met to discuss dinner over sandwiches, and I decided I liked them. The sandwiches, not the people. I hated those fucking people.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Love rocks. Stones also rock. I wish I could scissors paper my way into your heart.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The cause isn’t worth getting up for, but it is worth sleeping for. Just trying to do my part to help humanity.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Free pyramids! Buy one, get one half buried.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks