I’m romantic. I’ll try to make your bed while you’re still sleeping in it.
This Book is Not FOR SALEAll I could do was laugh, but it wasn’t funny. I find it incredibly sad to be tickled by an orphan.
This Book is Not FOR SALEWeeping willows always remind me of summer. And sadness. Please stop crying sweet tree.
This Book is Not FOR SALEIf I tell you I want to be a door-to-door salesman, don’t knock it.
This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucksI’m so old school I’m like a one-room schoolhouse—with no bathroom. I always keep it classy.
This Book is Not FOR SALEThe fields of science are full of crop circles that can't yet be explained by scientific means.
This Book is Not FOR SALELove has a glow, like a neon light having sex with a pack of hi-lighters, only not quite as quaint.
This Book is Not FOR SALEWith over one billion people, I’d say China is the best place to have group sex.
This Book is Not FOR SALEMy uncle missed the sixties. Not because he was too young. He just simply slept through them.
This Book is Not FOR SALENever chew off the hand you write with, you might survive and have to sign autographs.
This Book is Not FOR SALEIf trees had love, instead of leaves, I’d gladly rake you into a pile on my lawn and fall into you.
This Book is Not FOR SALE