Quotes of: Book-tour Keyword

We broke up because we weren’t going anywhere. I kept telling her, Hitchhiking takes patience.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

A man who claims to be 32 degrees is one freezing freemason. That man must make love with all the warmth of a shadowy secret.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I want to be a part of your world. Or, if that’s too much to ask, I’d accept being a part of your globe.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If love had the texture of a turtle, and the taste of a rabbit, would you say we’re moving too fast in our relationship?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Love is being able to be yourself, with another human being who makes you want to be better than yourself.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My name is my reputation. And all I have in this world is my name. Well, and my penis, which shoots out millions of other names.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I were in Steve Prefontaine’s shoes, I’d have done the same thing he did. Except for all that running. I wouldn’t have done that.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

In the long run, even a marathon looks like a sprint. This is how I can love with such Roger Bannisteresque intensity.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I walk slowly when I’m being introspective and nostalgic. Some might call it moping. But I don’t. I call it love.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I don’t need to actually make my product safer. All I need to do to make it safe is put a warning label on the package.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When I was growing up, I’d walk to school in the snow. In Florida. Uphill all three ways.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I know the secret number of the universe. It’s one, for the individual in search of the secret number. But the secret itself is love, and lies outside of one.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I make love like a flamethrower would make a good ice machine. But that’s OK, because I like ice water.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The two sisters wouldn’t sleep with me. But it’s cool, because they were nuns, and I didn’t have my clerical costume on.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When sex is Freon any occasion, it usually involves something dripping and toxic. At least that's what my mechanic tells me.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I made love with a cute woman yesterday. I would have made love with a gorgeous woman, but she was more expensive.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m a person, you’re a person, and we should make love. That is, if you’re a person who’s also roughly ½ of the population known as women.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I make love like the desert. Ever implemented a cactus during foreplay?

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

I would have sex in the backseat of my car, but from back there, how would I be able to hit the brakes? Or steer the vehicle?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Me mating with a midget is like a skyscraper having sex with a cathedral. But still I’d like to try. Just not while mass is in session.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I’m having sex during an earthquake, would I get a refund on all those quarters I just put in the vibrating bed?

This Book is Not FOR SALE