Quotes of: Book-tour Keyword

Selling something only to steal it back to sell again is not only dishonest, but highly profitable.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Before I sold used cars, I sold used horses. Mostly to glue factories.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The future is right around the corner from a bar called, “Yesterdays.” I know, I work there every tomorrow.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The one benefit of Alzheimer’s is that you can keep giving them the same gift over and over, and it’s always such a surprise.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’d collaborate with my clones, because I’m a team player who wants all the credit.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Growing up, I went through an awkward stage. It lasted from birth to last Tuesday.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Hard work would really open doors for me. So would being disabled.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I put my heart in a paper cup, so she’d be more likely to drink it up.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My love is a good neighbor—there is a fence around my heart. I’m not cold-hearted, despite having a touch of Frost in there.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

People don’t know I have a checkered past. I used to be a picnic table cloth.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If a handicapped woman says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask her if that includes parking.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Bosses are like assholes—everybody’s got one. Well, everyone except the unemployed. But still, bosses are like assholes, in that they are assholes. 

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I feel with a mullet and a mustache my job prospects would improve.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I don’t kind of like to be kind and like you—I love to be kind and love you.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If somebody’s a jerk and says something nasty, be a bigger jerk and say something kind and walk away.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

A smile is like a simile, if you have a mouth like a metaphor. That would make for like the best kiss ever.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I don’t know what I’ll do until I know what you’ll do. I’m proactive with my preemptive reactive strategy. 

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I want to invent a Laughometer, a device to measure and gauge humor, which would be used for comedians. And politicians.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

LIberty is slavery. Or, well, you already know. P.S. Can you find my logo in the image?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I say “No decision has been made,” it’s a lie—because I have decided to remain undecided.

This Book is Not FOR SALE