I am the Vending Machine of Love. Exact change only. The price is 33.3 cents.
This Book is Not FOR SALEI’m older now, which I can’t help, but I’m also fatter, thanks to all the extra helpings.
This Book is Not FOR SALEIf I aged twice as fast and lived twice as long as a normal person, would I be Wisdom Man?
This Book is Not FOR SALEI got my nails done today. I’m so glad that after 30 years, they’re finally finished.
This Book is Not FOR SALEI’m a competitor. I once placed fifth in a bottle of whiskey.
This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucksI could never be a chef, because I could ‘t bare the thought of my art always turning to shit.
This Book is Not FOR SALEWriter’s block, I just drove around it four times. All my favorite writers live there.
This Book is Not FOR SALEI've been able to sleep with my eyes open ever since I started watching baseball.
This Book is Not FOR SALETo stop a battle, a politician would propose a war.
This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucksI can’t believe you think that I can’t believe you don’t think that.
This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucksOn any job application I ever do, if they want my references, I always list the Bible.
This Book is Not FOR SALEYou don’t need the Bible to tell you the flesh is weak. Just pinch it and find out for yourself.
This Book is Not FOR SALEIf my clone writes my biography, is it really an autobiography?
This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks