Floyd Gondolli: This here's the future. Videotape tells the truth. Jack Horner: Wait a minute. You come into my house, my party, to tell me about the future? That the future is tape, videotape, and not film? That it's amateurs and not professionals? ...
Young Stud: [sobbing] This is TWICE in two days that a chick has OD'd on me! Colonel James: [rapidly] Well, do you think this means that maybe ya, oughta think about getting some new shit? Whaddya ya think? Young Stud: [contritely] Yes, sir. Colonel ...
[the Colonel James is in jail after being arrested for cocaine possession and attempted statutory rape] Colonel James: They found something else. Jack Horner: What? Colonel James: Well... it's just... they're so cute when they're so young like that.....
Santa: [from in the bag] Me on vacation? On Christmas Eve? Barrel: Where are we taking him? Shock: Where? Lock: To Oogie Boogie, of course. There's no where in the whole world more comfortable than *that*. And Jack *said* to make him comfortable, did...
Amber Waves: [having sex, filming a porno] Oh, John. You're a wonderful actor. Dirk: It's okay to come? Amber Waves: Are you ready to come? Dirk: Yeah. Amber Waves: Come in me. Dirk: What? Amber Waves: I'm fixed. I want you to come in me. Dirk: Okay....
Little Bill: [while shooting a scene, Dirk ejaculated inside Amber] We missed the cum shot. He came inside her. Maybe we could go to stock footage, or... Jack Horner: Are you crazy? It won't match! Dirk: Jack? I can do it again if you need a closeup.
Aching familiar in a way that made me wish I was still eight. Eight was before death or divorce or heartbreak. Eight was just eight. Hot dogs and peanut butter, mosquito bites and splinters, bikes and boogie boards. Tangled hair, sunburned shoulders,...
... I don't believe in ghosts - not the scary white sheet, boogie-woogie type of ghost anyway. And yet ... I don't disbelieve either. I'm kind of sitting on the ghost fence, dangling my legs on both sides, not sure which way to jump. I think I might ...
Reed Rothchild: Want to hear a poem I wrote? "I love you, you love me. Going down the sugar tree. We'll go down the sugar tree, and see lots of bees: playing, playing. But the bees won't sting, because you love me." That's it.
Eddie Adams: [to his mother] You don't know what I can do! You don't know what I can do, what I'm gonna do, or what I'm gonna be! I'm good! I have good things and you don't know about! I'm gonna be something! I am! And don't fucking tell me I'm not!
[Reed and Buck discuss a magic trick in a loud and crowded night club] Buck Swope: Doesn't it scare you? Working with evil forces? Reed Rothchild: What? Buck Swope: Evil forces. Reed Rothchild: Evil? No man, it's not evil. It's an illusion. Buck Swop...
Joe: [as Dirk is in his truck and trying to rub his penis to get an erection] Come on! Dirk: [Dirk stops] I can't! I can't get it hard, right? I can't. I'm sorry! [another truck suddenly pulls up with a group of guys] Joe: You just shouldn't do this ...
Dirk: You don't know what I can do! You don't know what I can do, what I'm gonna do, or what I'm gonna be! I'm good! I have good things and you don't know about! I'm gonna be something! I am! And don't fucking tell me I'm not!
Colonel James: I'm looking forward to seeing you in action. Jack says you've got a great big cock. Eddie Adams: Well, I don't know, I guess so. Colonel James: May I see it? Eddie Adams: Really? Colonel James: Please! [stares as Eddie lowers his short...
[just before they start filming Dirk's first movie] Dirk: Does he want me to keep going until I come? Amber Waves: Yeah. You just come when you're ready. Dirk: Where should I come? Amber Waves: Where do you want? Dirk: Wherever you tell me. Amber Wav...
Becky Barnett: It sounds like your bosses at the stereo store are saying the same thing. Buck Swope: What? Becky Barnett: YOU HAVE TO GET A NEW LOOK! Buck Swope: What? You get a new look. Becky Barnett: I have a look alright. The look I have is just ...
Jack Skellington: Forgive me, Mr. Claus. I'm afraid I've made a terrible mess of your holiday. Santa: Bumpy *sleigh*-ride... Jack. Next time you get the urge to take over someone else's holiday, I'd listen to *her*. [points to Sally] Santa: She's the...
Sometimes I have trouble falling asleep but it's not so bad I don't worry and I don't weep. In fact I'm glad. Because I get up off my pillow and I flip on the light. I get down and get hip in the still of the night I stretch and I yawn and then I bre...
Amber Waves: [screams] Oh, I don't want to do this any more. Honey, I can't. Let's just? Let's have fun now! Let's just go and go and go, because it's over. There's just too many things, too many things, too many things. Too many things. Rollergirl: ...
Not nearly enough. Not recently, anyway.” And she was sad about that. “I know,” he said, and kissed the back of her hand. “We’ll fix it. Get some sleep.” “Night,” she said, and watched him walk toward the door. “Hey. How’d you get...
Several Terminal Policy readers got together to tell Raker jokes: - Raker CAN piss into the wind. - Raker donates a lot of blood to the Red Cross -- just never his own. - Superman wears Raker pajamas. - When Raker jumps into the pool, he doesn't get ...
