When searching for a missing person, I’ll canvas the area. Like a painter. I make love like Bob Ross, only your happy tree is happier, and I’ll keep your coffee warm—in my stomach.
I’m so tired I could drink a cup of coffee as deep as the Grand Canyon. But I couldn’t take the first sip, because I’m too afraid of heights to get close to the lip.
I like my cakes nude, like I like wearing coats made of icing. I sweat hot coffee, so I wear cream deodorant. If you’re tired, you should lick my armpits.
There’s nothing I like more than rewards. Well, other than awards. I also love coffee a lot too. Being rewarded with a coffee award would be the ultimate euphoria for me.
His last name is either Groves or Graves or whatever the hell I wrote, trees or cemetery. We drank coffee like two people who should have been three.
When rain comes down, the chance of rainbows goes up. Likewise, when my coffee goes down, I wake up. Hopefully I wake up in your bed.
Women, they’re great for keeping the bed warm and the coffee hot. They’re also good at other things, like my job, which is why I’ll soon be fired—which is a bit too hot for me.
I tried to raise my eyebrows in disbelief, but I forgot I’d packed away my eyebrows along with all my other winter clothing. My iced coffee was watery and warm with neglect.
You are going to lose your home, your spouse, your life, and all at once, when you die. So why not drink coffee now and remember the life you haven’t started living yet?
My facial expression must have looked like a swarm of bees as I drank the hot brown liquid. Whatever it was, it was not the sting of coffee I swigged with swagger. Bitter is better than what I tasted.
When I go house hunting, I use a rather large gun. You should see me fish for the best tasting Starbucks coffee. Oh, and can I borrow your plunger?
I asked for the time, and she sold me a way to divide my attention into 12 equal parts. I asked her out to coffee, but she hinted there wasn’t a watch big enough to fit time with me in.
A car is a couch with wheels. My windshield wipers don’t work, so I’ve decided to stop watering my living room carpet. Honk if you want coffee, and I’ll pour you an umbrellaful.
Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters.
How do you plan a rebirth? I'm not sure you do. You just stand in the darkness until you can't endure it any long, and then you move forward until you're standing in the light.
Every time a new record started, people exhaled with pleasure, or their bodies moved automatically. I really started getting high off of the euphoric exclamations. Every record I put on was like a baptism.
This pool is a triumph of imagination. That's how you win at life, Gin. You have to imagine your way through. Never say something can't be done. There's always a solution, even if it's weird.
[My mom's] funny that way, celebrating special occasions with blue food. I think it's her way of saying anything is possible. Percy can pass seventh grade. Waffles can be blue. Little miracles like that.
Most beautiful of all was the tarnished gold of the elms, with a little brown in it, a little bronze, a little blue, even-- a blue like amethyst, which made them melt into the azure haze with a kind of happiness, a harmony of mood that filled the air...
Every woman who makes a permanent impression on a man is afterwards recalled to his mind's eye as she appeared in one particular scene, which seems ordained to be her special medium of manifestation throughout all the pages of his memory.
The American and Russian capabilities in space science and technology mesh; they interdigitate. Each is strong where the other is weak. This is a marriage made in heaven - but one that has been surprisingly difficult to consummate.
