When you live the life of a comedian, it's such a state of arrested development. I can't deal with anything very maturely. I'm still really bad at paying bills or doing anything that would be considered semi-adult. I'm really bad at it. It's weird I ...
Bill Foster: [to customer at WhammyBurger] How are you enjoying your meal? [customer vomits onto tray] Bill Foster: [to manager] I think we have a critic here! I don't think she likes the special sauce, Rick... That was a joke.
Bill: Were you, uh, "working" for him at the time? The Blonde: That... is none of your business. [gets up to leave] The Blonde: I think you'd better find somebody else to start telling you little stories. Bill: Oh come on, I was just joking!
O-Ren Ishii: You didn't think it was gonna be that easy, did you? The Bride: You know, for a second there, yeah, I kinda did. O-Ren Ishii: Silly rabbit. The Bride: Trix are... O-Ren Ishii: ...for kids.
[after the Bride convinces Karen Kim not to kill her because she's pregnant, Karen backs out of the room holding a shotgun on her, then looks through the hole she blasted in the door] Karen Kim: Congratulations. [runs]
Army General: [shouting] You told us that windows 98 would be faster, and more efficient with better access to the internet! Bill Gates: It IS faster! Over five million... [General shoots Bill Gates and everyone cheers]
Margo Channing: Thank you, Eve. I'd like a martini, very dry. Bill Sampson: I'll get it. [to Eve] Bill Sampson: What'll you have? Margo Channing: A milkshake? Eve Harrington: A martini, very dry, please.
[Bill is saying goodbye to Birdie as he departs for Hollywood] Bill Sampson: What should I tell Tyrone Power for you? Birdie: Just give him my phone number; I'll tell him myself.
You go to the draft board and think, 'Here's a nose tackle. Who needs a nose tackle?' Well, eight teams in front of you need a nose tackle, and there's two nose tackles. It's something you have to figure out where you can get the players to play in y...
The first bill that President Obama signed into law was the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. I think it says something about his priorities that the first bill he put his name on has my name on it too. As he said that day with me by his side, 'Making ou...
A hero is someone right who doesn't change.
There is no right in acting.
There are three things that a man must know to survive in this world: what is too much for him, what is too little, and what is just right.
I've elected to age gracefully.
It is people's hearts that move the age.
Do not look for approval except for the consciousness of doing your best.
If it isn't on Google, it doesn't exist.
Don't just crit their siticising.
Little startups are ridiculously overfunded.
There is no such thing as sportsmanship.
I'm not a high-maintenance person.
