I had a dream about you. You wanted to go shopping for shoes, and I suggested we go to the bowling alley. Where else can you go to rent such stylish shoes and have a FREE game of bowling thrown in?
I had a dream about you. You were hungry, so I made you a binocular sandwich, which is peeping power between two slices of bread. You were a hungry pervert, so I thought it perfect.
I had a dream about you. We were trying to climb a mountain, and I kept pushing you to keep going. I felt like the greatest motivational mentor who’s ever tried to climb Mt. Everest piggyback style.
I had a dream about you. You were playing the guitar like it was a piano, and I was impressed with my deafness. You played awfully, but all I could hear was I love you.
I had a dream about you. We met where most lovers meet—in prison. You were a guard, and I was in solitary confinement. The politicians felt the bars protected society from me, but I felt the bars protected me from them.
I had a dream about you. I was a melted ice-cream repairman, and you had a microwave for a head. You made fun of my trade, so I made you eat tinfoil until your head exploded.
I had a dream about you. I said, “The sex train leaves in three minutes and lasts for three minutes. Hop on!” You replied, “No thanks. I think I’ll catch a cab.” Well, you did catch a cab, and then you caught syphilis.
I had a dream about you trying to parallel park your ego between two modest cars. The ego wouldn't fit, and those guys weren't putting up a fight, so let’s just say you made it work.
I had a dream about you. You were a florist, and I was a floorist. You thought you were more romantic than me, but I knew all the barefoot women in the Nicholas Sparks fan club would disagree.
I had a dream about you. You started following me on Twitter, and then you started following me around town. I wouldn’t mind so much of you would start throwing your hashtags away, rather than tossing them into the street.
I had a dream about you. We were debating the nature of love, and you said it was invisible, and I said it was the color of gold. You accused me of being a banker, and I accosted you for it. Nobody calls me a banker and lives to tell about it.
I had a dream about you. We were laying down asphalt, and you said we were building a future together. Then I watched as a chicken crossed over our work, and I said, “No, we are building a joke.”
I had a dream about you. We were racing to be the slowest person on earth. You were winning, which meant you were losing. You were gloating because you were a winner, and I was taunting because you were a loser.
I had a dream about you. You wanted to be like Amelia Earhart, and I took you to mean you were trying to find yourself. Then I understood what you were telling me, and I sold you an invisible airplane.
I had a dream I was in an old woman's closet peeing on a giant shoe. Sorry grandma I thought it was the bathroom. I hate vacations where someone carries you out of the car and puts you in a bed that smells like mothballs.
I had a dream about you. We watched the sunset together like a couple of perverts in a peep show. I really liked your idea of cutting a hole in a sheet of plywood, because it made the whole experience more erotic.
I had a dream about you. You were learning how to swim, and I was learning how to drown. We each studied the other’s technique. Swimming and drowning and both of us doing both taught us a lot about love.
I had a dream I bought a popcorn maker that would pop pennies into cornuts, so I bought stock in corn wow was I nuts. That's what my therapist said. He is just plain nuts and they are not salty at all. Lies!
I had a dream about you. We walked along the beach like two lovers in motorized wheelchairs. You said, “Isn’t this romantic?” and I replied, “Nothing is more romantic than being able to park in a handicapped spot.”
Do we not each dream of dreams? Do we not dance on the notes of lost memories? Then are we not each dreamers of tomorrow and yesterday, since dreams play when time is askew? Are we not all adrift in the constant sea of trial and when all is done, do ...
You came so that you could learn about your dreams," said the old woman. "And dreams are the language of God. When he speaks in our language, I can interpret what he has said. But if he speaks in the language of the soul, it is only you who can under...
