Da Fino, Private Snoop: I'm a brother shamus! The Dude: Brother Seamus? Like an Irish monk? Da Fino, Private Snoop: What the fuck are you talking about?
Jackie Treehorn: Interactive erotic software. The wave of the future, Dude. One hundred percent electronic! The Dude: Yeah well, I still jerk off manually.
The Dude: Yes, Walter, you're right. There is an unspoken message here. It's "FUCK YOU, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" Yeah, I'll be at practice.
Walter Sobchak: Whereas what we have here? A bunch of fig-eaters wearing towels on their heads, trying to find reverse in a Soviet tank. This is not a worthy adversary.
[singing while semi-conscious in the back of a police car] The Dude: He was innocent, not a charge was true, and they say he ran away... Branded!
Maude Lebowski: Now, what happened to your face? Did Jackie Treehorn do that as well? The Dude: Ah, no that was the chief of police of Malibu. A real reactionary.
The Dude: I only said I THOUGHT she kidnapped herself. You're the one who's so fucking certain! Walter Sobchak: That's right, Dude. 100% certain.
Da Fino: Let me tell ya something - I dig your work. Playing one side against the other, in bed with everybody - just fabulous stuff.
Brandt: Who is this gentleman, Dude? Walter Sobchak: Who am I? I'm a fucking Veteran, that's who I am!
[in a bookstore] Philip Marlowe: You do sell books, hmm? Agnes Lowzier: What do those look like, grapefruit? Philip Marlowe: Well, from here they look like books.
Philip Marlowe: How'd you happen to pick out this place? Vivian: Maybe I wanted to hold your hand. Philip Marlowe: Oh, that can be arranged.
Carmen Sternwood: You're cute. I like you. Philip Marlowe: Yeah, what you sees nothing, I got a Balinese dancing girl tattooed across my chest.
Lash Canino: What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a gun before? What do you want me to do, count three like they do in the movies?
Agnes Lowzier: Well, so long, copper. Wish me luck. I got a raw deal. Philip Marlowe: Hey, your kind always does.
Philip Marlowe: Let me do the talking, angel. I don't know yet what I'm going to tell them. It'll be pretty close to the truth.
We're making far too big a deal out of our sexual preferences. It's just another form of narcissism, and I think it can be a big problem and a tremendous obstacle.
When you're making under-million-dollar films, it becomes so much about actors' availability. When you're using big actors for small films, you're in second or third position to the big monoliths.
We just bought this house. It's too big. It's like 400,000 square feet, or something. We got an indoor lake and ski slope in the house! It's just too big.
I have a big personality, and I think big personality plus blond hair makes me come across as glib. With dark hair, people look at your face more. Before, it was all about the hair.
Prose is like this big block - you write big paragraphs. I feel that when I'm reading and writing, that a prose book is kind of monolithic. But a song is more like a feather or something.
Getting elected Governor of New Mexico, I really did enjoy that job. I thought I made a really big difference, and I think the same running for president of the United States - that I could make a really big, positive difference.
