Caroline Crabb: Sold your gunfighter outfit? Turning in your gun? Jack Crabb: Well, sorry, Caroline. Caroline Crabb: There's ain't nothin' in this world more useless than a gunfighter who can't shoot *people*!
Jack Crabb: [voiceover] I was an honored guest, so they gave me a special treat: boiled dog. Now I will admit, dog is greasy, but you'd be surprised how downright delicate the flavor is - especially when you're starving.
Nemo Nobody adult: What was there before the big bang? Well, you see, there was no before because before the big bang, time did not exist. Time is a result of the expansion of the universe itself. But what will happen when the universe has finished e...
Philomena: I've always wanted to see him in his big chair. Martin Sixsmith: Well, he was uh... a big man. Literally. 6 foot 4, tallest American president. Philomena: You can see that. He's tall even sitting down.
Governments have been ceding power to big multinational corporations in the market. We see the manifest in a variety of ways. Where governments are giving up power to big international institutions like the World Trade Organization or NAFTA, which ar...
Enzo: You were right. Jacques: About what? Enzo: It's much better down there... It's a better place... Jacques: no... Enzo: Push me back in the water... Jacques: No, I couldn't... Enzo: Jacques... Take me back down... Please...
Johanna: You really send him under the ice? He isn't a slave or convict or anything, is he? Dr. Laurence: My dear, science is a cruel mistress. Johanna: How is he going to breathe? Dr. Laurence: He isn't.
[Enzo pulls out a whiskey flask in a diving bell] Noireuter: Is that alcohol? That's *really* forbidden! Enzo: Hey, do you have any more complaints? Just make a list and we'll stick it on the porthole, OK?
Walter Sobchak: [shouted repeatedly while smashing a car with a crow bar] Walter Sobchak: This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass! Walter Sobchak: This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps! [censored version]
[while dunking the Dude's head in the toilet] Blond Treehorn Thug: Where's the money, Lebowski? Where's the fucking money, shithead? The Dude: It's uh... uh... it's down there somewhere, let me take another look.
Walter Sobchak: He lives in North Hollywood on Radford, near the In-and-Out Burger... The Dude: The In-and-Out Burger is on Camrose. Walter Sobchak: Near the In-and-Out Burger... Donny: Those are good burgers, Walter. Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up...
The Dude: This is a very complicated case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And, uh, a lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder's head.
The Dude: Oh, fuck me, man! That kid already spent all the money, man! Walter Sobchak: New 'Vette? Hardly, Dude. I'd say he's still got about $960 - $970,000 left, depending on the options.
Walter Sobchak: Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis. Donny: They were Nazis, Dude? Walter Sobchak: Oh, come on Donny, they were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?
[after reporting the stolen car] The Dude: Do you find them much, these, stolen cars? Younger Cop: Sometimes. Wouldn't hold out much hope for the tape deck though. Older Cop: Or the Creedence.
The Dude: Your money is being held by a kid named Larry Sellers. Real fucking brat, but I'm sure your goons can get it off him. I mean, he's fifteen. [pause] The Dude: Flunking social studies.
Brandt: Her life is in your hands. The Dude: Man, don't say that, man. Brandt: Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat that: her life is in your hands. The Dude: Oh, shit, man. Brandt: Her life is in your hands, Dude.
[after recovering his car from the Auto circus] The Dude: Oh, Jesus, what's that smell, man? Auto Circus Cop: Yes, probably a vagrant slept in the car. Or maybe just used it as a toilet and moved on.
Brandt: [the Dude is leaving after his first meeting with Lebowski] Well, enjoy. And perhaps we'll see you again some time, Dude. The Dude: Yeah, sure, if I'm... in the neighborhood and I, uh... gotta use the john.
The Dude: Uh, and then, uh, the music business, briefly. Maude Lebowski: Oh? The Dude: Yeah. Roadie for Metallica Maude Lebowski: Oh. The Dude: Speed of Sound Tour Maude Lebowski: Mm-hmm. The Dude: Bunch of assholes.
Woo, Treehorn Thug: Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski. [urinates on The Dude's rug] The Dude: Oh, man, don't do that. Not on the rug, man. Woo, Treehorn Thug: You see what happens? You see what happens, Lebowski?
