Giosué Orefice: "No Jews or Dogs Allowed." Why do all the shops say, "No Jews Allowed"? Guido: Oh, that. "Not Allowed" signs are the latest trend! The other day, I was in a shop with my friend the kangaroo, but their sign said, "No Kangaroos Allowed...
Georg Dreyman: I want to ask you one thing. Minister Bruno Hempf: Anything, my dear Dreyman. Georg Dreyman: Why wasn't my flat wired? Everyone was under surveillance. Why not me? Minister Bruno Hempf: [whispers] You were under full surveillance. We k...
Adult Pi Patel: [Pi and Richard Parker in the boat when they're about to leave the island] [voice over] Adult Pi Patel: No one has seen that island since, and you'd never read about those trees in any book. And yet, if I hadn't found those shores I w...
Adult Pi Patel: [voice over] And then Richard Parker, my fierce companion, the terrible one who kept me alive, disappeared forever from my life. [Pi lies on the sand when a group of locals run down the beach towards him] Adult Pi Patel: [voice over] ...
Lt. Gen. George Miller: My loyalty is to the kids. I am a soldier. Karen Clarke: You're not a soldier. Lt. Gen. George Miller: I've been a soldier my whole life! What do you mean I'm not a soldier? I'm a soldier! Look at the uniform - what, do you th...
Arwen: Do you remember when we first met? Aragorn: I thought I had wandered into a dream. Arwen: Long years have passed. You did not have the cares you carry now. Do you remember what I told you? Aragorn: You said you'd bind yourself to me, forsaking...
Boromir: My father is a noble man, but his rule is failing, and our people lose faith. He looks to me to make things right and I would do it. I would see the glory of Gondor restored. Have you ever seen it, Aragorn? The White Tower of Ecthelion, glim...
Mr. Goodkat: The reason I'm in town, in case you're wondering, is because of a Kansas City Shuffle. Nick: What's a Kansas City Shuffle? Mr. Goodkat: A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left. Nick: Never heard of it. Mr. Goodka...
L.A. Bartender: Do you know what time it is? You should be drinking coffee. You're a young guy. It's none of my business, but if you could see what I see, you wouldn't be doing this to yourself. Ben Sanderson: I understand what you're saying. I appre...
Martin Riggs: You know they're going to kill her, don't you? Roger Murtaugh: Yeah. Martin Riggs: So if you want her back, you're going to have to take her away from them. Roger Murtaugh: I know. Martin Riggs: You do this my way. You shoot, you shoot ...
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: Want to know the common element for the entire group?... I'll tell you the answer: I'll tell you, 'cause I had that one. I had that question... Carbon. Carbon. In pencil lead, it's in the form of graphite and in coal, it's mixe...
Mike: Hello, is this thing on? Hey, good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Nice to be here in... your room. Hi, where are you from? [kid doesn't answer] Mike: You're in kindergarden, right? I used to love kindergarden. Best three years of my life. [stil...
Noel Coward: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean. [singing] Noel Coward: Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? / Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong? / It's swell to have a stiffy. /...
Jean: Nemo, do I matter to you? I'd just like to ask you one question. Did you do it on purpose? I found this on the bedside table. [reads note] Jean: There comes a time in life where everything seems narrow. Choices have been made. I can only contin...
Billy Beane: We want you to play 1st base for the Oakland A's. Scott Hatteberg: OK, well, I've only ever played catcher. Billy Beane: Scott, you're not a catcher any more. If you were our call wouldn't be the only one you got when your contract expir...
Bert: All right, I'll do it myself! Mary Poppins: Do what? Bert: Bit o' magic! Michael: A bit of magic? Bert: It's easy! Let's see... You think. [he, Jane, and Michael do so] Bert: You wink. [they do so] Bert: You do a double blink. [they do so] Bert...
John Anderton: No doubt the precogs have already seen this. Lamar Burgess: No doubt. John Anderton: You see the dilemma don't you. If you don't kill me, precogs were wrong and precrime is over. If you do kill me, you go away, but it proves the system...
Chris: You heard of anything? Vin: Just shooing some flies away from a Mexican village, but I can't find out what it pays. Chris: Twenty dollars. Vin: A week? Vin: Six weeks. Vin: Oh, that's ridiculous. Have you heard of anything? Chris: Yeah. Shooin...
Wendy: You'd better be careful. Eric: Of what? Wendy: I'm serious, Eric. You're not in Modesto anymore. I see the way you look at him. Eric: He's so beautiful. I can't help it. He's like a god. Wendy: You don't have to tell me, I was infatuated with ...
Duke Forrest: [In O.R] I can't stop that bleeding down there. [to Dish] Duke Forrest: Is that true what I hear about you? Get me a clamp. Get me a clamp. Lt. Maria 'Dish' Schneider: Captain Pierce, did you call me? Hawkeye Pierce: No, I didn't, and m...
[Caine Lawson reflecting after being shot] Caine: After stomping on Ilena's cousin like that, I knew I was gonna have to deal with that fool someday. Damn! I never thought he'd come back like this, blasting. Like I said, it was funny like that in the...
