Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Why, if I had half a chance, I could make an entire movie using this stock footage. The story opens on these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what's causing them, but it's upsetting all the buffalo. So, the military are called...
Narrator: You're making a big mistake, fellas! Police Officer: You said you would say that. Narrator: I'm not Tyler Durden! Police Officer: You told us you'd say that, too. Narrator: All right then, I'm Tyler Durden. Listen to me, I'm giving you a di...
Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: [Forrest and Bubba salute Lt. Dan] Oh, get your hands down. Do not salute me. There are goddamn snipers all around this area who'd love to grease an officer. I'm Lieutenant Dan Taylor. Welcome to Fort Platoon. [looks at Bubb...
Winston Zeddemore: Hey, wait a minute. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Hold it! Now, are we actually gonna go before a federal judge, and tell him that some moldy Babylonian god is going to drop in on Central Park West, and start tearing up the city? Dr. Eg...
Roberta: [looking at a drawing of a man smashing another man's head in with a sledgehammer] What can you tell us about your piece, er... Phillip? Phillip: Er... it's about The Mutilator. Roberta: [smiling] My goodness! Phillip: It's a really great vi...
Fred Weasley: Nice try Harry, but not good enough Harry: Come on guys, I'm trying to get to Hogsmeade Fred Weasley, George Weasley: We know George Weasley: If you'll stop squirming, we have a better way... Harry: Guys, come on... Fred Weasley: Awwh,...
George Bailey: [the staff celebrates closing the building and loan company with only two dollars remaining, to stay in business] Get a tray for these two great big important simoleans here. Uncle Billy: We'll save 'em for seed. George Bailey: A toast...
Budd: That gentled ya down some. Ain't nobody a badass with a double dose of rock salt that deep in their tits. Not havin tits as fine or big as yours, I can't even imagine how bad that shit must sting... yet I don't want to, neither. [the Bride spit...
[talking about her ex-boyfriend] Natalie: He says no one's gonna fancy a girl with thighs the size of big tree trunks. Not a nice guy, actually, in the end. Prime Minister: Ah! You know, um, being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered. Natal...
Sam: There's this big concert at the end of term, and Joanna's in it. And I thought, maybe if I was in the band, and played absolutely superbly, there's a chance that she might actually fall in love with me. What do you think? Daniel: I think it's br...
[Gauri is walking away in tears, Bhuvan shouts after her] Bhuvan: Hey Gauri! There's only one house in the village with a neem tree in the yard. There's also a big field beside it. There's some chickens, two cows, and three goats. And I know whose ho...
Pumbaa: Hey, Timon, ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up there? Timon: Pumbaa, I don't wonder; I know. Pumbaa: Oh. What are they? Timon: They're fireflies. Fireflies that, uh... got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing. Pumbaa: Oh, gee. I al...
Batman: You know, I don't want to spoil the party but, does anyone notice that we're stuck in the middle of the ocean on this couch? Do you know what kind of sunburn I'm going to get? None, 'cause I'm covered in latex, but you guys are going to get s...
Father Horvak: What's confusing you this week? Frankie Dunn: Oh, it's the same old "one God-three God" thing. Father Horvak: Frankie, most people figure out by kindergarten it's about faith. Frankie Dunn: Is it sort of like Snap Crackle and Pop, all ...
Peter Brand: Billy, this is Chad Bradford. He's a relief pitcher. He is one of the most undervalued players in baseball. His defect is that he throws funny. Nobody in the big leagues cares about him, because he looks funny. This guy could be not just...
Papagallo: [Mechanic has just rattled off a long list of things wrong with the big rig] Well, what does all that mean? Zetta: Yeah, okay, but what does that mean? Mechanic's Assistant: [to the Mechanic] What does that mean? Mechanic: 24 hours. Mechan...
Pete: I've always wondered, what's the devil look like? Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork. Tommy Johnson:...
Paul: So, I hear you're taking Mia out. Vincent: At Marsellus's request. Paul: You met Mia yet? Vincent: No. [Jules and Paul laugh] Vincent: What's so fucking funny? Jules: I gotta piss. [exits] Vincent: Look, I'm not stupid. It's the Big Man's wife....
[last lines] Jiminy Cricket: [to the night sky] Thank you, milady. He deserved to be a real boy. And it sure was nice of you to... [suddenly the whole area turns bright] Jiminy Cricket: Huh? Wha... Oh? Wha... [suddenly a big gold conscience badge app...
Lorenzo St. DuBois: [singing] And I give a flower to the big fat cop / He takes his club and he beats me up / I give a flower to the garbage man / He stuffs my girl in the garbage can / And I give it to the landlord when the rent comes 'round / He th...
Sam: So, I'm guessing you've never been high before. Charlie: No. No, no, no. My best friend, Michael, his dad was a big drinker, so he hated all that stuff. Parties too. Sam: Well, where is Michael tonight? Charlie: Oh, he shot himself last May. I k...
