I made an awful mess of my first marriage. It was hard to live with me being me. I was so abnormal. I mean, most writers struggle. I hadn't struggled. I couldn't suddenly go down to the PEN Club and behave like a normal human being, because most of t...
All my friends were in college when I was making 'Superbad.' We were drinking beer and watching movies and eating pizza. It wasn't like I was going to nice restaurants or anything like that, and I lived like a frat guy. Eventually it was time to grow...
I don't stop. It's my nature. People have to tell me to slow down. I plan on playing every role on Broadway. I want to do 'Evita.' I want to do 'Sweeney Todd' with Chris Colfer. We want to do 'Wicked.' I'll be Elphaba and he wants to play 'Guy-linda....
Rachel Hansen: Better that you find this out now before you come home and find her in bed with Lars from Norway. Tom: Who's Lars from Norway? Rachel Hansen: Just some guy she met at the gym with Brad Pitt's face and Jesus' abs.
McKenzie: Hey, maybe you should write a book. Tom: What? McKenzie: Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature. Tom: That guy had a lot more sex than me.
[Taken off the crew for a viral infection] Ken Mattingly: Well, I... damn. Medical guys. I had a feeling when they started doing all the blood tests that I... I mean I know it's their asses if I get sick up there but I mean JESUS!
Lester Burnham: I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast. Jim Olmeyer: Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well? Lester Burnham: I want to look good nake...
Riggan: That guy is the worst actor I've ever seen in my life. The blood coming out of his ear was the most honest thing he's done so far. Jake: It's not that bad. [pause] Jake: Okay, it was fucking terrible.
George: Waiters, I'm the only guy on the planet that gets busted by fucking waiters, why the Feds decided to bust me on that particular night I'll never know maybe it was the Porsches and Maseratis in the drive way, my Columbian guest list or the coc...
Edward Cole: [to himself, about his relative wellness while looking in a mirror at his wan face and bald head adorned with a railroad track of baseball-like stitches from his brain surgery] My God. Somewhere, some lucky guy's having a heart attack.
Shuya: Did you bandage me, Utsumi? Yukie Utsumi: Yeah. Yukie Utsumi: [laughing] Never touched a guy before... you like Noriko, huh? Shuya: Why? Yukie Utsumi: [smiling] I know all about you, Nanahara. You know what that means? Shuya: [confused] What?
When I was younger, humans went to the moon when I was about 4 years old, and I imagined that as I got older and became an adult that traveling in space was going to be fairly common and something that we all did. So I grew up believing that I'll be ...
I feel that writers think with their noses to the ground, and the dark stuff kind of comes to me more, even though I really am sort of an upbeat guy. It's an honest descent into darkness. And you can't have the joy without the grief - it's why we lis...
Houston is my team, always and forever. But with the new TV packages, it's so easy to watch every league in the world, and my overseas fandom is driven by the American guys. If Sunderland's on TV, I'll watch Jozy Altidore. I try to watch Geoff Camero...
The early pictures of me you see online, in just T-shirts and hoodies - I'm still that guy with the hoodie. But what you don't get to see in most of those pics is that I had these red clogs on that had, like, eyeballs on the ends of them that I drew ...
When I got into this, I never thought about reviews. I never thought about what people would say about me, I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor, and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.
To be honest with you, when I got into this I never thought about reviews. I never thought about what people would say about me. I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.
I can only guess that, for guys in their 30s and 40s who watched me play, they understood that the score never mattered and my paycheck never mattered (in relation) to how I played. I played with Little League enthusiasm and professional flair. That'...
Someone asked me about the difference between love and lust. Hmmm. That will take a little thought. How to tell the difference? Well, for guys, if she looks better AFTER you've made love to her than before, that might be love. If you find yourself it...
One guy that I wish was here right now, Ted Williams, helped me so much, our long talks, not about hitting but about fishing, one of Ted's passions, and I wish he was here today to share this with me because I owe so much to Ted Williams.
Kope!” the other guy yeled. “What the frick?! You got some cheetah blood in you or what?”“Seriously!” insisted Blake. “How did you run so fast?” “I am African.” Without taking his eyes from mine, Kopano eased himself off me, and I s...
