I did a 'Last Comic Standing' audition in 2006, where you're just performing for three people in a comedy club, in a big comedy club, and I remember them cutting me off, asking about my name in the middle of one of my jokes. Yeah, it's just real weir...
The structure of straight coupledom still represents an appropriation of the physical and psychic energy of women to benefit men. And insofar as gay people re-create the straight couple, this structure of violence, domination, and emotional paucity i...
Let me tell you a story about when I was growing up in Spain. Many Sundays, we would invite 30, 40, 50 people to the countryside, and my father would make a big paella. He put me in charge of the fire and the 'stove' - the rocks that hold the pan. Bu...
One should remember that where nobody flees, there is no pursuer: that where there are no little fish, there can be no big ones. Why does the girl not require her lover a noble and honoured name, a manly heart to protect her weakness, and a resolute ...
I had a big fight in my first week in secondary school. There was a kid in the year above who was nasty to me, and we ended up having a scrap. I can remember thinking that there was going to be some serious bloodshed if we didn't stop, so I made a de...
When you're a young talent, and you want to launch your brand, you always have tons of questions: Where should I produce? Should I launch a second line? Should I do shoes, accessories? If you have someone who can coach you and give you advice and hel...
This book (Jarod Kintz's book) is trash. I mean, I assume it is, because that's where I found it while scrounging for lunch. However, I must admit that I haven't read it. I would have, but I am homeless, mainly due to my illiteracy (though Big Govern...
I like to see people reunited, maybe that's a silly thing, but what can I say, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can't tell fast enough, the ears that aren't b...
Lennie Pike: All right lady, are you gonna get out or am I gonna have to throw you out? Emmeline Finch: Oh please Mr. Pike, don't get upset. Mrs. Marcus: He's not gonna do anything! Drive on, ya big stupid idiot!
Preacher: Do you take this woman to be your wedded wife? Beetlejuice: [Runs off to the side mumbling to himself] Oh geez, I don't know. I mean, it's kind of a big decision isn't it? I mean, I always said if I ever did it, I was gonna do it once and t...
Charles: As soon as we get settled, we'll build you a dark room in the basement, okay? Lydia: My whole life is a dark room. One big dark room. Delia: So you were miserable in New York City, and now you're going to be miserable out here in the sticks....
Harry Caul: [upset, walking over to Martin seated] What are you doing here? Martin Stett: Take it easy I'm just a messenger. I brought you a drink. Harry Caul: I don't want your drink. Why are you following me? Martin Stett: I'm not following you I'm...
Ace Rothstein: [voice-over] No matter how big a guy might be, Nicky would take him on. You beat Nicky with fists, he comes back with a bat. You beat him with a knife, he comes back with a gun. And if you beat him with a gun, you better kill him, beca...
Reverend Clement Hedges: Protect and nourish the frail and the weak, O Lord. Let them grow big and strong under Thy loving care. [Pull back to show him "blessing" his vegetables] Reverend Clement Hedges: In fact, let them grow bigger and stronger tha...
Convenience Store Clerk: [Powell with an armload of Twinkies] I thought you guys just ate doughnuts. Sergeant Al Powell: Heh. They're for my wife. Convenience Store Clerk: [sarcastically] Yeah. Sergeant Al Powell: She's pregnant. Convenience Store Cl...
Lewis: This is the one! There she is. [Lewis pushes aside tree branches and we see the river for the first time] Ed: Looks good. Looks good. Lewis: [mournfully] Couple more months, and she'll all be gone. Bobby: [offscreen] Ed! Lewis! Ed: Even up as ...
Nick: You want freedom? I'll give you fucking freedom. [Takes out some handcuffs] Nick: You're going to jail, faggot. How's that for freedom? Freedom to get fucked up the ass by some big buck nigger. Give me your other hand! He's gonna be right behin...
Raoul Duke: [referring to the knife Acosta is holding] Jesus God Almighty man, where'd you get that big fucker? Dr. Gonzo: Room Service sent it up, I needed something to cut the limes, man. Raoul Duke: Limes? What limes? Dr. Gonzo: They didnt have an...
Henry Hill: [narrating; Paul is slicing the garlic with a razor] In prison, dinner was always a big thing. We had a pasta course and then we had a meat or fish. Paulie did the prep work. He was doing a year for contempt, and he had this wonderful sys...
William 'Wild Bill' Wharton: [Brutus Howell hands out cold sodas to the other guards] Hey, hey, I'm gonna get some too, ain't I? Brutus "Brutal" Howell: My ass you get some too. Paul Edgecomb: What makes you think you deserve any? William 'Wild Bill'...
Squadron Leader Howard Barnsby RAAF: First, you've got that bloody old fortress on top of that bloody cliff. Then you've got the bloody cliff overhang. You can't even see the bloody cave, let alone the bloody guns. And anyway, we haven't got a bloody...
