If there were no elephants in the jungle, the buffalo would be big.
A man is as big as the things that made him mad.
A big blanket makes a person sleep late.
A big nose never spoiled a handsome face.
Two small antelopes can beat one big one.
A little pepper burns a big man's mouth.
A powerful man has big ears.
When big bells ring, little ones are not heard.
When the big bells ring, the little bells are not heard.
Hide your body in the Big Dipper.
The most important thing to remember about confronting an irrational person is that they are usually attributing an inaccurate meaning to a situation causing them to react irrationally.
I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir, but I don’t think my bathtub can hold that many people.
A cat purring on your lap while you sip hot tea, is there anything better? Oh, and you’re floating in a zero gravity environment.
I saw something scary. It was a boy, asking me what I’m doing naked in his father’s fridge. Dinner party’s over.
I want to move to Hollywood and audition for parts just so I can say, “I’m not an actor. I just play one on TV.
Dear 30 years old, why are you stalking me? Please leave me alone or I’ll be forced to alert the authorities.
You can’t become a famous garage band if you never perform outside your garage. That’s why my band plays in my driveway.
I watch basketball like I watch baseball: I don’t. I’d much rather watch grass grow. Actually, golf isn’t that bad.
She probably thinks I have the clothes of a millionaire. And I do, but they’re still on his body, which is still in the trunk of my car.
I just bought a can of brown paint. It’s more expensive than coffee, but I really hit the wall after I chug it.
I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cooking and not fear ruining my dinner.
