[after reporting the stolen car] The Dude: Do you find them much, these, stolen cars? Younger Cop: Sometimes. Wouldn't hold out much hope for the tape deck though. Older Cop: Or the Creedence.
The Dude: Your money is being held by a kid named Larry Sellers. Real fucking brat, but I'm sure your goons can get it off him. I mean, he's fifteen. [pause] The Dude: Flunking social studies.
Brandt: Her life is in your hands. The Dude: Man, don't say that, man. Brandt: Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat that: her life is in your hands. The Dude: Oh, shit, man. Brandt: Her life is in your hands, Dude.
[after recovering his car from the Auto circus] The Dude: Oh, Jesus, what's that smell, man? Auto Circus Cop: Yes, probably a vagrant slept in the car. Or maybe just used it as a toilet and moved on.
Brandt: [the Dude is leaving after his first meeting with Lebowski] Well, enjoy. And perhaps we'll see you again some time, Dude. The Dude: Yeah, sure, if I'm... in the neighborhood and I, uh... gotta use the john.
The Dude: Uh, and then, uh, the music business, briefly. Maude Lebowski: Oh? The Dude: Yeah. Roadie for Metallica Maude Lebowski: Oh. The Dude: Speed of Sound Tour Maude Lebowski: Mm-hmm. The Dude: Bunch of assholes.
Woo, Treehorn Thug: Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski. [urinates on The Dude's rug] The Dude: Oh, man, don't do that. Not on the rug, man. Woo, Treehorn Thug: You see what happens? You see what happens, Lebowski?
Philip Marlowe: My, my, my! Such a lot of guns around town and so few brains! You know, you're the second guy I've met today that seems to think a gat in the hand means the world by the tail.
Vivian: So you do get up, I was beginning to think you worked in bed like Marcel Proust. Marlowe: Who's he? Vivian: You wouldn't know him, a French writer. Marlowe: Come into my boudoir.
General Sternwood: Do you like orchids? Philip Marlowe: Not particularly. General Sternwood: Ugh. Nasty things. Their flesh is too much like the flesh of men, and their perfume has the rotten sweetness of corruption.
Philip Marlowe: I can do what? Where? Oh no, I wouldn't like that. Neither would my daughter. [hangs up] Philip Marlowe: I hope the sergeant never traces that call.
Agnes Lowzier: Is Harry there? Philip Marlowe: Yeah, yeah, he's here. Agnes Lowzier: Put him on, will you? Philip Marlowe: He can't talk to you. Agnes Lowzier: Why? Philip Marlowe: Because he's dead.
Eddie Mars: Your story didn't sound quite right. Philip Marlowe: Oh, that's too bad. You got a better one? Eddie Mars: Maybe I can find one.
Philip Marlowe: [speaking into the phone] Hello, let me talk to Mr. Mars. Eddie Mars: This is Mars. Philip Marlowe: Oh, hello Eddie. This is Marlowe. Eddie Mars: Marlowe? Philip Marlowe: Yeah, Marlowe. Or, what's left of him.
We'll watch 'Britain's Got Talent,' 'X Factor,' 'Come Dine with Me' and 'Masterchef.' But we don't watch 'Big Brother,' which is rubbish. I certainly won't be tuning into the new series of 'Celebrity Big Brother' either. I think it's awful, exploitat...
I got an offer at 'Vogue.' And I desperately wanted to work in magazines. My interest wasn't in fashion, but when you get an offer right out of college for a magazine that big - I decided that it was probably better to start at a big name magazine, e...
I work out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday; take Thursday off; then I work out Friday and Saturday. So sometimes I'll eat whatever I want on Thursday, like a big breakfast of pancakes and bacon and eggs and stuff. You can eat a big, hearty breakfast becau...
Fallen man is both terrified of vulnerability and committed to maintaining independence.
Commitment is a word invented in our abstract modernity to signify the absence of any real motives in the soul for moral dedication.
Maybe the difference between first marriage and second marriage is that the second time at least you know you are gambling.
It is not we as individuals, then, who must bend uncomfortably around the institution of marriage; rather, it is the institution of marriage that has to bend uncomfortably around us.
