Now, remember: they're not for eating, but for listening, because you'll often be hungry for sounds as well as food. Here are street noises at night, train whistles from a long way off, dry leaves burning, busy department stores, crunching toast, cre...
Gem thought it would be hilarious to shear his brother’s fine hair off while he was sleeping. Ever since then Menai decided he actually preferred the Mohawk. Both had inherited their mother’s Western Continent coloring, a blend of pearly white an...
Oh, do you have A Tale of Two Cities?" "That silly thing? Men going around getting their heads chopped off for love? Ridiculus." Will unpeeled himself from the door and made his way toward Tessa where she stood by the bookshelves. He gestured expansi...
...when you put on your shortest dress, please leave some mystery in it. That's the difference between a miniskirt and a ho-skirt. A ho-skirt shows your Frisbee. A miniskirt shows just enough to cause some mystery. What these young women lack is myst...
A lot of people who read my novel 'Smog City' ask me why I never killed off either of the two main characters. To be honest, it's because I've given them life. Not literally of course, but since I spent so much time developing and creating my charact...
I can say with a solid degree of authority that I am a selfish person. I spontaneously forget the names of more people than not, unless I want to make out with them. I will take the last square of toilet paper off the roll without thinking twice. I t...
I am very, very old-fashioned and clumsy. I use those long reporter notebooks. This is what a troglodyte I am. The night before I go off on a trip, I take a scissors, I pull out about four of these things, and I cut off the bottom inch and a half so ...
We have to convince people that the handouts – just taking a few little handouts, where you have a subsistent living, where you never grow, just get a little check and a few food stamps, it will keep you on the plantation for the rest of your life,...
I took off my sweatshirt and dropped it on the grass and set off around the track. As soon as I started running, the world changed. The bodies spread out across the green of the football field were parts of a scene remembered, not one real at this mo...
Stomp stomp. Whirr. Pleased to be of service. Shut up. Thank you. Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. Thank you for making a simple door very happy. Hope your diodes rot. Thank you. Have a nice day. Stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. It is my pleasure...
Not only are the poorest people the most generous but they don't expect anything in return, least of all recognition from others by means of showing off or posting a humble brag like so many from average society do and you can identify these people t...
Slater: This place used to be off limits, man, 'cause some drunk freshman fell off. He went right down the middle, smacking his head on every beam, man. I hear it doesn't hurt after the first couple though. Autopsy said he had one beer, how many did ...
Car Driver: [Car driver in traffic jam snaps when cut off by lady in car] Hey you dumb bitch you cut me off! What's the matter with you? Move up or move back! Get out of the way! What the hell are you, a moron? Come on! If I wanna be in a parking lot...
Cosmo Renfro: [after Kimble has just lept off the dam to escape] What happened? Where'd he go? Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: The guy did a Peter Pan right off of this dam, right here. Cosmo Renfro: What? Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: Yeah. BOOM. Cosm...
Ferris: Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." Good po...
[Ferris has snuck aboard a parade float] Ferris: Ladies and gentlemen, you are such a wonderful crowd, we'd like to play a little tune for you. It's one of my personal favorites and I'd like to dedicate it to a young man who doesn't think he's seen a...
Danny Butterman: Where's the trolley boy? Nicholas Angel: In the freezer. Danny Butterman: Did you say "cool off?" Nicholas Angel: No I didn't say anything... Danny Butterman: Shame. Nicholas Angel: Well, there was the bit that you missed where I dis...
Zeke: Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo. I can't wait to get my paws on that mammoth. Soto: Nobody touches the mammoth until I get the baby. Zeke: ...First I'm gonna slice its hindquarters in sections. I'll put the white meat in one pile, and the dark meat in another....
Nick: [slamming a bottle on the bar] That's it! Out you two pixies go... through the door, or out the window! George Bailey: Hold on, Nick! What's wrong? Nick: That's another thing. Where do you come off calling me Nick? George Bailey: Well... Nick, ...
Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly! Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity. Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah! Followers: ...
Prince Eric: Well, what do you say? Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow? [Ariel nods with delight] Grimsby: Wonderful! Now, let's eat before this crab wanders off my plate. [He puts his fork down onto his plate and is surprised...
