Patrick: Hey, Sam. Sam: Question. Could the bathrooms here be anymore disgusting? Patrick: Yes, they call it the men's room. Sam: So, I finally got a hold of Bob. Patrick: Party tonight? Sam: He's still trying to shag that waitress from the Olive Gar...
Mitch: Oh I don't mind you being older than what I thought. But all the rest of it. That pitch about your ideals being so old-fashioned and all the malarkey that you've been dishin' out all summer. Oh, I knew you weren't sixteen anymore. But I was fo...
Erica Albright: [Angry] I'm sorry you are not sufficiently impressed with my education. Mark Zuckerberg: I'm sorry I don't have a rowboat, so we're even. Erica Albright: I think we should just be friends. Mark Zuckerberg: I don't want friends. Erica ...
Feminists who say that I switched sides because I am an opportunist should know that exactly the opposite is true. It's cost me a lot of money. I've gone from being well-to-do to being $70,000 in debt. I have done something self-destructive financial...
Craig Schwartz: [as Maxine Puppet] Tell me, Craig, why do you like puppetering? Craig Schwartz: [as Craig Puppet] Well Maxine, I'm not sure exactly. Perhaps the idea of becoming someone else for a little while. Being inside another skin - thinking di...
I wanted to tell a dream-come-true story about going from a closeted gay kid who loved pop culture to an out adult man making pop culture. I went from being told when I was 21 that I should never go on TV because of my crossed eyes to winding up bein...
Everyone is the other and no one is himself.
Being seventy is not a sin.
I don't like being in houses alone.
Having regrets is proof of being alive.
One of the best things about being an actor is that it's a meritocracy.
Being married is the best thing that ever happened to me.
I never thought of being disadvantaged.
I don't like publicity, being in the limelight.
It is always fragile, being a parent.
Being a woman is really crap.
I was dissatisfied just being an actor.
I like being behind the scene.
I have a bad reputation for being temperamental.
I pride myself on being kind.
I like the timeframe involved in being an actor.
