Be resilient until you complete a task. Challenge yourself and never limit yourself. Stay humble, hopeful, patient, but never quit!
His mind turned, gradually comprehending, memories flooding his awareness that were not his own: memories from the timelessness before the Being within him had fallen into this body; of a Homeworld and a Consortium of Light that had sent two Beings a...
There is nothing noble about being superior to some other person. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.
My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.
Most people assume because my name is Jarod that I was born Martha proof. But I'm not Martha proof—I'm merely Martha resistant up to 100 meters.
God gave man feet for which to walk. And crush grapes. Can I get you a glass of wine? It’s homemade, though it kind of smells funky.
I'm no gumshoe, but I think I have gum on my shoe. Either that or I'm stuck in place because I'm afraid to take the first step in a new direction.
If I were named Brad Pitt, I’d thank the actor by the same name, because due to his hard work and handsomeness, I’d be famous.
There’s late, there’s fashionably late, and then there’s me, who’s always unfashionably late. If the party starts at 8:00 on March 5th, I’ll be there at 8:00 on March 5th—the following year.
She asked me if I had a light. I asked her if she was a wizard. She said no, so I felt safe in pulling out my pocket dragon.
I still have wagon splinters stuck to my ass, from when my high school coach made me ride the bench.
There’s a hurricane coming to Florida, and there will be high winds. I should probably turn off my ceiling fans, to try to mitigate the billions of dollars in damages the storm will incur.
I am the Hooray Distributor. Hold your hands flat, not like begging for money, but as if you’re about to applaud. Now clap, damn you.
My last two girlfriends were named Anna, though the second one spelled her name backwards. So instead of Anna, it was spelled Anna, and that's how I came to tell the two apart.
I never heard back from her after our first date, so either she’s dead, or she rejected me. I wonder where her funeral was held.
A mirror is like my own personal reality TV show—where I’m both the star and only viewer. I’ve got to get my ratings up.
I have developed a flavorless soup that’s indistinguishable from hot water. It’s the first soup to taste great frozen. Would you like some to go, in a thermos?
Some people say dying alone is a fate worse than death itself. Well, they should try being alone during the living part sometimes. There's no quicker way to make you wonder why the hell you ever thought you'd want to return.
A human being always acts and feels and performs in accordance with what he imagines to be true about himself and his environment...For imagination sets the goal ‘picture’ which our automatic mechanism works on. We act, or fail to act, not becaus...
Legitimate First watched them go as they walked away. Sergeant Colon felt he was being measured up. "I've always wondered about his name," said Nobby, turning and waving. "I mean...Legitimate?" "Can't blame a mother for being proud, Nobby," said Colo...
What manner of people they were only books and other people could tell... and the tale was a long and gory one dating from the dim, conjectural dawn of history. But being human they were as apt to change as mother nature to remain constant.
