Giovanni Cappa: This Johnny Boy is like your mister Groppi... a little crazy. It's nice you should help him out because of his family and our family but watch yourself... Don't spoil anything. His whole family has problems... his cousin, the girl who...
Ed Crane: I was the principal barber now. I hired a new man for the second chair. I'd hired the guy who did the least gabbing when he came in for an interview, but I guess the new man had only kept quiet because he was nervous. Once he had the job he...
Jefferson Smith: Because of just one, plain, simple rule: Love thy neighbor. And in this world today, full of hatred, a man who knows that one rule has a great trust. You know that rule, Mr. Paine, and I loved you for it, just as my father did. And y...
Howard Beale: I would like at this moment to announce that I will be retiring from this program in two weeks' time because of poor ratings. Since this show is the only thing I had going for me in my life, I've decided to kill myself. I'm going to blo...
Dae-su Oh: Please. Don't tell Mido. What has she done wrong? You know it was all my fault... I have committed an unforgivable sin, against your sister. And I also... Did you wrong. But, please leave Mido alone... If by any chance Mido finds out the t...
Marty: Why gamble with money when you can gamble with people's lives? That was a joke. All right, I'll tell you. I believe in the notion that people are innocent until proven guilty. I believe in that notion because I choose to believe in the basic g...
Murtogg: What we doin' 'ere? Mullroy: The pirates come out, unprepared and unawares. We catch 'em in a crossfire... send 'em down to see Old Hob. Murtogg: I know *why* we're here. I mean, why aren't we doin' what - what Mr. Sparrow said? With the can...
Sister Alma: Is it really important not to lie, to speak so that everything rings true? Can one live without lying and quibbling and making excuses? Isn't it better to be lazy and lax and deceitful? Perhaps you even improve by staying as you are. (No...
Sheriff Al Chambers: Your detective told you he couldn't come right back because he was goin' to question Norman Bates' mother. Right? Lila Crane: Yes. Sheriff Al Chambers: Norman Bates' mother has been dead and buried in Greenlawn Cenetery for the p...
Agent Paxton: Mr. Mason, I'm Special Agent-in-Charge Ernest Paxton. John Mason: In charge of what? Fucking me over for another three decades? Agent Paxton: I don't know anything about your previous matters. We've brought you here because there's a si...
[Goodspeed's Beatles album arrives at the office] Stanley Goodspeed: Yes! She's here, bring it to me now, thank you Phil! Isherwood: What's that? And why did you have it sent here? Stanley Goodspeed: Carla wouldn't approve. She thinks it's dumb to sp...
Raymond: Gotta get my boxer shorts at K-Mart. Charlie: [Pulls over, gets out of the car and yells] WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE WHERE YOU BUY UNDERWEAR? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? UNDERWEAR IS UNDERWEAR! IT IS UNDERWEAR WHEREVER YOU BUY IT! IN CIN...
Herman Blume: What does Guggenheim say? Max Fischer: Nothing. I felt I should go to you first. Herman Blume: Why? Max Fischer: Because at this moment I feel our best strategy is to keep a low profile. The more preparation I can do, the stronger our c...
Lt. Doyle: You didn't see the killing or the body. How do you know there was a murder? Jeff: Because everything this fellow's done has been suspicious: trips at night in the rain, knifes, saws, trunks with rope, and now this wife that isn't there any...
Shaun: Pete? Pete? Ed: Why don't we just go up? Shaun: No. No. Wait. No. No! Don't go up there! Ed: Why not? Shaun: Because A, he might be one of them, and B, he might still be annoyed. Pete? Maybe he went into work. Ed: Well, how come he didn't driv...
Ichabod Crane: It was a headless horseman. Baltus Van Tassel: You must not excite yourself. Ichabod Crane: But it was a headless horseman. Baltus Van Tassel: Of course it was. That's why you're here. Ichabod Crane: No, you must believe me. It was a h...
Marylin Delpy: What are you doing? Mark Zuckerberg: Checking in to see how it's going in Bosnia. Marylin Delpy: Bosnia. They don't have roads, but they have Facebook. [Mark says nothing] Marylin Delpy: You must really hate the Winklevosses. Mark Zuck...
Signor Adolfo Pirelli: [as Davy Collins] I'll be wantin' me five quid back, if'n you don't mind. Sweeney Todd: What for? Signor Adolfo Pirelli: Because you entered our little wager under false pretense. So as you don't make the same mistake again, I'...
Doyle Lonnegan: You see that fella in the red sweather over there? His name's Donnie McCoy. Works a few of the protection rackets for Cunnaro when he's waiting for something better to happen. Donnie and I have known each other since we were six. Take...
Spock Prime: What if I told you that your transwarp theory was correct, that is is indeed possible to beam onto a ship that is traveling at warp speed? Scotty: I think if that equation had been discovered, I'd have heard about it. Spock Prime: The re...
[all hyped and ready after singing a song] Stan: Can I have FIVE tickets to Terence Phillip: Asses on Fire, please? [pause] Ticket Taker: No! Stan: What do you mean no? Ticket Taker: Terrance and Philip: Asses of Fire has been rated R by the Motion P...
