I cross things out more than I write them. And if I try to sing a line, and I know that it's written incorrectly, I get this weird sort of physical nausea, and my mouth curls up all strange. I guess that's why I always write the words first: because,...
I can't read music. Instead, I'd do stuff inside the piano, do harmonics and all kinds of crazy things. They used to put me in these annual piano contests down at Long Beach City College, and two years in a row, I won first prize - out of like 5,000 ...
I've only really had one period when I lost myself and felt like I was going to lose my career, and that was when I first began presenting 'X-Factor' spin-off 'The Xtra Factor' two years ago. I was worried if I did a rubbish job live on Saturday nigh...
The first thing I think about when I wake up most mornings is the fact that I'm tired. I have been tired for decades. I am tired in the morning and I am tired while becalmed in the slough of the afternoon, and I am tired in the evening, except right ...
My mom told me to stay away from gangs. But if you're asking me about immigration reform, it must accomplish two objectives: Border security must be first, and it must be more than a promise. We have to import workers, not welfare. Anyone who wants t...
I made an awful mess of my first marriage. It was hard to live with me being me. I was so abnormal. I mean, most writers struggle. I hadn't struggled. I couldn't suddenly go down to the PEN Club and behave like a normal human being, because most of t...
I didn't get married until I was forty because I wanted to be stable when I got married. I think I just avoided my first marriage and went right to the second. It's sort of how I see it. When you're young, just trying to make it, and trying to find y...
[first lines] Michael: Check, please. Cathy: Look Daddy, a volcano. [Cathy blows bubbles into her soft drink] Michael: It's very pretty. Drink up your volcano. All right. We're going. Mommy's waiting. Cathy: Daddy, please. Just one more minute.
Farhan Qureshi: Today my respect for that idiot shot up. Most of us went to college just for a degree. No degree meant no plum job, no pretty wife, no credit card, no social status. But none of this mattered to him, he was in college for the joy of l...
Charlie Kaufman: To begin... To begin... How to start? I'm hungry. I should get coffee. Coffee would help me think. Maybe I should write something first, then reward myself with coffee. Coffee and a muffin. Okay, so I need to establish the themes. Ma...
AFRS Announcer: [radio announcer] And now here's another blast from the past coming out to Big Cind, all alone in the men's room out there with the First Battalion, Thirty-fifth Infantry, and dedicated by the fire team at An Khe to their groupie CO, ...
Richard Jeffries: You know, a lot of kids don't want to leave their first home, because they're afraid that if they do, their parents won't be able to find them. I'm here to make sure that doesn't happen to you. [cut to August, who has tears running ...
[first lines] The Other: The Tesseract has awakened. It is on a little world. A human world. They would wield its power, but our ally knows its workings as they never will. He is ready to lead. And our force, our Chitauri, will follow. The world will...
David Huxley: First you drop an olive, and then I sit on my hat. It all fits perfectly. Susan Vance: Oh, yes, but you can't do that trick without dropping some of the olives; it takes practice. David Huxley: What, to sit on my hat? Susan Vance: No, t...
[first title card] Title card: Sierra Leone, 1999 Title card: Civil war rages for control of the diamond fields. Title card: Thousands have died and millions have become refugees. Title card: None of whom has ever seen a diamond.
These days we seem more bound to our bosses than ever before. We even identify our own selves with the jobs we do: 'What do you do?' is the first question we ask each other at parties, as if a job title could express a fundamental truth about our per...
A native tongue, in my opinion, isn't the language spoken where you were born or the first language you learned; it's a language that makes you feel at home. It's a language that you don't command, but that commands you. And without it, you'd feel lo...
If asked for an opinion we’ll say what we think. And by “what we think” I mean the answer that comes to our mind first, seems most logical and requires the least amount of effort to articulate, while getting us in the least amount of trouble. R...
Good horror is written by people who understand that fear is one of the cardinal passageways into the core of humanity. Good horror is generally written by folks who grew up on horror; books, movies, etc. You can’t simply decide to write—in any g...
My dear Watson, you as a medical man are continually gaining light as to the tendencies of a child by the study of the parents. Don't you see that the converse is equally valid. I have frequently gained my first real insight into the character of par...
There is a subset of Democrats who tend to mis-fill out ballots. The way you mark the ballot is like an S.A.T. - you fill in the circle. And the subset of people who tend to, like, put a check there instead, or an X, or fill it out wrong, tend to be ...
