Grandpa said that we could solve a lot of the world’s problems if we considered cats and dogs edible. Like the neighbor’s dog who goes to the bathroom in his flower garden. And know what else?
He understood it when other kids were mean to him. It didn't bother him. He simply hated them. As long as he hated them, it didn't matter what they thought of him.
After the first meal with a new girlfriend’s family, I always like to say, “Will you folks excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom and vomit now. Gotta keep the weight off somehow. Plus, your cooking is terrible.
I have seen that our best presidents were the do-nothing presidents: Millard Fillmore, Warren G. Harding. When you have a president who does things, we are all in serious trouble. If he does anything at all, if he gets up at night to go the bathroom,...
Back on Nov. 23, 1963, I sailed into Manhattan Harbor onboard the Queen Mary and landed with no job and contacts and just $135 in my pocket. My first lodging was in a rundown hotel for $27 a week with the bathroom down the end of a corridor of beds.
It's very important for the parents of young autistic children to encourage them to talk, or for those that don't talk, to give them a way of communicating, like a picture board, where they can point to a glass of milk, or a jacket if they're cold, o...
I get really nervous if pigeons are flying around before shows. I can't stand them after one once flew in through my bathroom window and went for me while I was having a wee. That was enough. I think pigeons target me.
Looking back, I realize my favorite stories weren't in books, they were in comics. On top of being a history enthusiast, my father was also a comics fan, and he kept his stash in the top drawer of his dresser, in easy reach of a kid making a beeline ...
The reason for privacy is not so that people will not know you go to the bathroom. It's to allow certain things to go on that you don't want other people to know about, when all is said and done. But the things I don't want other people to know about...
[Evelyn Mulwray and Gittes in her bathroom] Jake Gittes: There's something black in the green part of your eye. Evelyn Mulwray: Oh, that. It's a... it's a flaw in the iris. Jake Gittes: Flaw? Evelyn Mulwray: Yes, it's a sort of birthmark.
[Mikey calls for a bathroom break] Mikey: Okay, this is the little boys' room, and that cave over there is the little girls' room. [Brandon heads to a different cave] Mikey: Brand, where're you going? Brandon Walsh: This is the *men's* room.
Bilbo Baggins: [griping about the dwarves] They pillaged the pantry. I'm not even going to tell you what they've done to the bathroom, they all but destroyed the plumbing. I don't understand; what are they doing in my house?
Sam: Why don't you just go and beg some money off my Dad, so you can move into some place decent, with a real kitchen and a real bathroom. George: I'd rather sell my nuts to a castrati.
Jonathan Mardukas: [making fun of Jack] Jack? "What?" When do you think you we're gonna get to L.A.? "None of your fucking business!" Well, I have to go to the bathroom. "Shut the fuck up!"
Mia: Don't you just love it when you come back from the bathroom and find your food waiting for you? Vincent: We're lucky we got anything at all. I don't think Buddy Holly's much of a waiter.
[Gillian has come to visit Sylvia. When they arrive home, the house is in a mess and loud music is playing] Gillian: Is that the water running? [Sylvia runs to the bathroom to find the shower running and the basin overflowing] Sylvia: David? Where in...
George: The bathroom's just down the hall, if you'd like to take a shower. Kenny: Aren't you taking a shower too, Sir? George: Oh, I'm fine, I'm English, we like to be cold and wet.
'The Exorcist' is absolutely my favorite horror film, and I watched it when I was, like, seven years old with my mother for the first time. I don't know why my mom let me watch that. I couldn't go to the bathroom by myself. I couldn't go upstairs by ...
Edward Cole: Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart. Thomas: I'll keep that in mind as I approach decrepitude.
I decorated my house like a medieval gothic castle, European-style. Chandeliers and red velvet curtains. My bedroom is pink and black, my bathroom is totally Hello Kitty, I have a massive pink couch and a big antique gold cross.
I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, 'OK, this is what I'm going to do for a living and I'm going to be Weird Al.'
